Birthday Brunch

“Old… Used up… All alone…”

It was my first birthday as a single man, the first birthday I could remember that I’d be spending on my own.  I sluggishly rolled over and looked at the clock.  8:30. Too early to start drinking?  Well, I sure didn’t feel like jerking off.

From somewhere across the bedroom floor, my phone jangled obnoxiously.  I stumbled around looking for it, before I retrieved it from the pocket of the pants I had been wearing yesterday.  It was a number I didn’t recognize.  Who the hell would be calling me? Especially at this hour on a Saturday?

“Hi!” The voice on the other end was female and chipper.  “What are you up to this morning?”


“Aww, don’t do that.  Get up!  Get dressed!  We’re taking you out for brunch!  Meet us over at Union Square in half an hour.”

“Um, who is this?”

“Kira!  …from work?  Get your pants on!”

Kira from work was kind of a friend of mine, a friend in that we were friendly to each other at work, but we’d never hung out before.  She worked in the IT department, and I’d always kind of assumed she was a dyke.  She was a pixie of a girl who looked tinier than she really was.  She biked to work every day, and carried a big olive messenger bar with punk rock stickers plastered all over.  She had short, spiky hair that changed color on a daily basis, and a tattoo of a risqué art-nouveau wood nymph on her shoulder (it peeked out from under her t-shirt, and when I’d asked her about it, she had yanked off her shirt and shown me the whole thing.  Definitely not a work-safe tattoo.)  Her brown eyes flashed whenever she was excited or angry.  She reminded me of a wood elf.  I always found myself double checking to see if she had pointy ears.

Well, what the hell.  I pulled myself together, took a shower and scraped the stubble off my face, and hauled my skinny white butt over to Union Square.

They were waiting for me.  Kira was wearing forest-green pants and a black stretchy t-shirt that emphasized her perky little boobs.  Her hair was freshly copper-colored, and her eyes sparkled wickedly.  Once again I had to check for pointy ears.

She’d brought two friends with her: Mitch, another guy from the IT department, outrageously tall and skinny and pale; and his girlfriend Faye, a roly-poly blonde girl with soft curly locks, big boobs that threatened to fall out of her flannel shirt, a large round butt, and a big honest smile that pushed her from frumpy all the way into the realm of beautiful.

“So how old are you today, man?” Mitch asked me.

“Old,” I responded, “older than dirt.”

“Oh, cheer up, Grumpypants!” Kira interjected, “You don’t look a day over forty!”

We walked south, and a few blocks east, and ended up at a French Café that was only just opening up.  We were the only customers.

They sat us at a big round booth in the corner.  The waitress, a skinny girl with black hair, high cheek bones, multiple earrings, and a charming French accent, took our order.  Coffee and Bloody Marys all round.  She went away to get our drinks.  She had a sassy little French ass inside her faded blue jeans.

“Excuse me for a second” Kira said, and then she disappeared under the table.


The words flashed dumbly through my brain as Kira elbowed her way between my knees and started tugging at my zipper.  Mitch and Faye appeared to be smirking as if they were in on a joke.  Down underneath the table, Kira had successfully gotten my zipper down and was working on extracting my cock.  I was too flabbergasted to even begin to be hard.

She sucked it into her mouth like a floppy wet noodle.  I jumped, and Faye giggled.  Just about then our waitress came back with a tray of drinks and asked if she could take our order.

Mitch and Faye ordered omelets.  I managed to stammer out that I’d like French toast.  I definitely had an erection now, and Kira was doing her level best to devour it.  The waitress looked questioningly at Kira’s empty place.  “Our friend will have the pancakes.” Faye said.

As soon as the waitress’ back was turned, Kira was pulling hard on my pants.  I lifted my butt up slightly and *whoosh* my pants and boxers were yanked down around my ankles.  I experienced the very odd and unusual feeling of being completely naked from the waist down in a very public setting.  A cool breeze wafted over my saliva-wet privates.  I didn’t get much time to dwell on my predicament.  Kira immediately went back to work down there, apparently attempting to swallow my cock whole.

Mitch and Faye seemed to be enjoying the various expressions pass across my face.  They placidly sipped their Bloody Marys and watched me squirm.

What Kira was doing was driving me absolutely insane. She was playing me like a musical instrument, alternately stroking my shaft light and fast like the wings of a butterfly until I was just about to explode; and then dropping the tempo right back down, licking up and down the length of my dick and swirling her tongue around the head.  She’d shower my entire penis with kisses, gently nibble and kiss my ball sac, nuzzle her way into the darker territory of my taint, before popping up and trying to jam my cock all the way down her throat.  When she did that, it was very difficult for me to not reach under the table, grab her head, and start humping her wide open mouth.  I think Mitch and Faye were picking up on that, judging by the amount of tittering that was coming from their end of the table.

I was lolling in ecstasy.  Just about the time that I was giving in to Kira’s tormenting pleasure, just as I was about to shoot off into her mouth the next time her tongue so much as brushed the head of my cock, our pretty French waitress showed up with the food.

“Ees everything ok?” she asked with a quizzical smile and a painfully cute accent, “You haven’t touched your drink.”

When she bent over to give me my French toast, I got a tremendous view of her cleavage.  She smiled broadly.  “Bon Appetite!”

As soon as the waitress was gone, Kira popped up from under the table, grinning from ear to ear like a well-fed cat, leaving me hard, wet, and flopping.  She downed her drink in one long gulp, and attacked her pancakes  like a woman on a mission.  My head was spinning, and my mouth was opening and closing like a goldfish “Wha…ah…wah..?”  It took me a second to realize that Mitch had disappeared.

I didn’t have much time to wonder where he’d gotten to.  A hot, wet mouth enveloped my straining cock, and I sighed aloud.  The girls giggled delightedly.

Ok, so if it was weird having my dick sucked by a dude, my dick was still being sucked, and the whole situation was over the top weird anyway, so I was slightly surprised to discover it didn’t bother me in the least.  Mitch had a very different technique from Kira.  He kept his mouth on my dick and bobbed up and down, squeezing the base of my cock, cupping my balls with his other hand.  It felt so good I caught myself bucking back against his mouth.  His cheeks were scratchy against my inner thigh.  Kira reached over and squeezed my hand.

Just as we were starting to get into a really good rhythm with each other, Mitch abandoned my cock, leaving me humping against air.  He popped up, and Faye took his place under the table.

Her method was much more sensual.  She licked languidly up and down the quivering, swollen length of my cock, lingering around the pee hole before tracing the vein down the underside and carefully taking my balls one by one into her mouth.  She licked hypnotically up and down my cock, up and down and around and around.  I couldn’t help myself; I reached down under the table as discreetly as possible, and cupped her large warm breast.  It felt nice in my hand, soft and firm.  I could feel the nipple stiffen under her shirt.  How long had it been since I’d touched a real live breast?

And then Faye swallowed me.  I felt my cock slip all the way down her throat, felt her muscles caressing me, felt her nose pressed up against my pubes, her straining lips mashed around the base of my cock.  I moaned out loud.  She lifted her head off me, and came up from beneath the table, smiling and coughing.  Kira, whose plate was now clean and empty, ducked back under.

Her mouth was still warm and sticky from the real maple syrup.  Down under the table, she was working with a renewed sense of purpose.  She had captured the head of my cock inside her mouth and was sucking hard, working her tongue all over the underside of my head, while one hand jerked me off hard and fast.  I surrendered to the pleasure, throwing my head back and humping back against her mouth in time with her pumping.  I didn’t care who knew, who could see.  It just felt too good, and I just wanted to come in her mouth.

Perversely, my body was having a hard time letting go.  Maybe it had just been teased too much for too long: even though I was balanced on the razors’ edge, even though I desperately wanted to, and Kira was clearly trying to make me, I couldn’t quite come.  It was exquisitely frustrating, sweet torture.

Between my legs, she gurgled and choked, switching hands for a better grip.  I spread my knees wide apart, giving her room to work.  Mitch and Faye were staring openly now, totally rapt.

I looked up and realized that the entire staff of the café was lined up over at the bar, watching us: both of the waitresses, the hostess, the cooks, the Mexican dishwasher; they were all intently following the action like a key soccer match.

While her mouth kept up the intensity on the head of my cock, and one hand kept pumping me hard and fast, Kira slid her free hand under my naked butt.  Her fingers probed in between my cheeks, searching, searching until they found what they were looking for.  Her slender finger penetrated my tight asshole, piercing and stretching me, burrowing deeper and deeper up my ass.

“I’M COMING!” I blurted out, “OH SHIT, I’M COMING!!  OH! Oh, Oh… Oh… Ah…Ahhhhh”

The rush of pleasure was so intense, I had never had an orgasm that strong before.  It started in my toes and flooded through me, all the way up through my ears.  My entire body twitched and shook as my cock pumped into Kira’s hungry mouth.  She stayed with me the whole way, and then some, drinking me until there was nothing left to drink.  I felt like I must have squirted about a gallon of come into her, and she took it all, every last drop.  It was the most incredible thing I had ever felt.

Finally I was done, slumping limply in my seat.  Kira let my soft penis slip out of her mouth, and gently extracted her finger from my anus.  She came up from beneath the table, her copper hair a wild case of bed-head.

“Happy Birthday!” she said.

The café staff gave us a long and exuberant round of applause.  I would have died of self-consciousness at that moment, but I was simply to happy to care very much.  I slurped my Bloody Mary and devoured my French toast, which was by now stone cold.

When my plate was empty, our waitress came back to the table.  “Ees there anything else I can get you today?” she asked.

“No thanks,” I said, “Just the check please.”

“Ees your birthday today, non?  There ees no charge.  Your breakfast ees on zee house.”

We thanked her profusely and left a big tip.  I pulled my drawers and my pants up over my wet and tired junk, and we all got up to go.  As we were walking to the door, the waitress ran up to me, gave me a hug, said “Happy Birthday”, and slipped a piece of paper into my jacket pocket.

Mitch and Faye headed off together, on business of their own.  Kira walked over to the train with me.

“I hope that wasn’t too weird?” she asked.

“No!  That was awesome… best birthday present ever!  I had no idea…”

“So then I’ll see you at work on Monday?” she said, “Unless you felt like hanging out or anything tomorrow?”

“Sure!” I said, “I don’t have any plans.  I’d love to hang out!”

“Ok!” her eyes flashed happily.  She gave me a big smile, hugged me quick and tight, and then she was gone, disappearing away into the sea of people on the crowded sidewalk.  She had a cute little butt in those green pants, and it twitched when she walked.

I felt like I was glowing.

Down in the train, I fished out the slip of paper the waitress had slipped into my pocket.  I had forgotten all about it, rediscovered it when I was searching for my Metrocard.

It was a piece of register paper with a name written on it: ‘Marie’, and a phone number. ‘Call me’ it said, and it was punctuated with a little smiley face.

Maybe I would.



  1. Anonymous said

    this is so hot. i want a second part! i stumbled across this completely by accident, very glad i did. thanks for being hot! x

  2. Details, details said

    I managed to stammer out that I’d like French toast.

    The waitress looked questioningly at Kira’s empty place. “Our friend will have the pancakes.” Faye said.

    When she bent over to give me my pancakes

    She downed her drink in one long gulp, and attacked her French Toast like a woman on a mission.

    • elsiewrites said

      Oops, heh heh… fixed. Continuity…

  3. ElsieFanny said

    I love it, especially ending with him having two sexy young women to look forward to. I didn’t even notice the mix-up in the orders. Thanks!

  4. Rob said

    Yeah, that’s pretty much like the IT department where I work. You can’t hardly go out to lunch with any of those guys, cuz they just keep pushing and shoving, trying to get under the table to blow you.

    It’s a cool story, and it’s good to know that other people have that same kinda experience with their tech support staff.

  5. english thorn said

    I second the call for a Part II. 🙂

  6. Ollie said

    Love the story girl. You have a fine touch for erotic and sensuality. Thanks a million for sharing it with us. I’d LOVE to read what they get up to on Sunday, and then the french Waitress day. Hmmmm.

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