Hard Reset

After my life fell apart around me, I gathered up my things and stuffed them into a duffel bag, bought a bus ticket, and moved to the city, where I started to pick up the pieces as best as I could.

I got an apartment, a dingy little one-and-half room studio with a shared bathroom down the hall.  The only window faced a brick wall and at night I could hear my neighbors snoring, but at least it was mine.

I got a job, writing code for a small company that produced (I’m ashamed to admit it) pop-up ads for sketchy websites.  They didn’t pay very well, but that was ok; it was enough for me to get by on.  The place took up an entire floor in a falling-apart old building in the garment district, and I had my very own office.  There were only about a dozen employees, and I was the oldest of the lot by a decade, easy.

The actual coding was really easy and repetitive, and I very quickly discovered that nobody in the place did any actual work, except when Mrs. Goldbaum, the owner, came to visit.  Liz played video games, Tim worked on his novel, Devon chatted with her boyfriends, Cat sent out résumés, and everyone looked at internet porn.  Mrs. Goldbaum dropped by once a week or so, and when she showed up, everyone scrambled to minimize their windows and made a big show of being hard at work for an hour or so.  It was a weird place to work.

I didn’t discover just how weird until later.  My first clue came fairly early on, in the first week or so when I was still trying to work all day like a good employee.  I tapped on Cat’s door (all us programmers had our own offices, and hers was next to mine) with a question about library protocols.

Cat was doing a crossword puzzle online, and reading a lesbian webzine.  She answered my question without even looking up (saying, basically, ‘do whatever you want’), and then swiveled around to face me.  “So, did you wanna see my tits?”

“Huh?” I responded eloquently.  Cat was a beautiful girl, tall and slender as a willow branch, with big brown eyes, an unruly mop of curly dark hair, ears that stuck cutely out, and an enormous set of knockers that stood out proudly and were usually unfettered by any bra under her tight t-shirts and button-up blouses and skimpy tank tops.  I was pretty certain that she and Liz were dating.  She had a pretty nice ass too.

“Well I noticed you staring at my chest.” Oh God, I hadn’t thought I’d been staring.  Or at least I thought I’d been discrete about it.  “So I thought you might like to have a look.”  She was already unbuttoning her shirt.  All I could do was stand there and gawk.

They really were glorious: big round gravity-defying globes with enormous crinkled aureoles and dimpled little nipples.  They jiggled slightly with every little movement.  I imagined how they must shake up and down when Liz licked her pussy, and I blushed even redder than I was already.  I also felt my cock twitch inside my pants.  I hadn’t had so much as an erection since the divorce went down.  That night I would masturbate to the memory of those beautiful breasts.

“So?  What do you think?”

“They’re lovely.” I answered lamely.

“Thank you.” Cat said primly, and began buttoning up her shirt.  “Well, see you later on.  If Goldbaum comes to visit, remember to look busy.  But don’t worry, she never comes by on a Friday.”

I went back to my own office, feeling confused and horny and a little chagrined, as if I had screwed up, missed my cue, blown the punchline.  I also had a hard-on in my pants that refused to go away.


Later on, over a beer, I cautiously related the story to Liz. Liz was the first friend I had made at this place, and at the age of 30, she was also the next oldest employee after me.  Liz was a dyed in the wool lesbian: everything about her screamed ‘Dyke’ from the crew cut and the baggy jeans and oversized plaid shirts to the letters D.Y.K.E. tattooed on the knuckles of her left hand.  And like I said, I was pretty sure that she and Cat were a thing.

“Oh yeah, don’t worry about her,” Liz leered at me across a pint of Guinness, “The girl’s a total exhibitionist.  Nice rack, huh?”


A few weeks later, by which time I had wised up and stopped even pretending to work, we were hanging out in Tim’s office: me and Cat and Liz.  The girls were giving Tim shit about the porn he had been looking at when we’d walked in, which was slightly disingenuous; I’d seen the stuff Liz liked to watch.  Anyway it was all quite light-hearted, and he didn’t protest too much when they made him open the window back up and click through the pictures: an improbable-looking lesbian couple with a lot of eye makeup, tits that may or may not have been fake, and scary long red fingernails.

Next thing I knew, Cat had slithered out of her stretchy black t-shirt, and she and Liz were making out right in front of us, kissing passionately, as if me and Tim weren’t there at all.  Cat was dry-humping Liz’ jean-clad leg, and Liz was shamelessly fondling her girlfriend’s big bouncing tits.

By this time, I guess I knew Liz and Cat well enough that I wasn’t completely shocked by their behavior.  I just sat down on the edge of Tim’s desk and enjoyed the show.

While I was enviously watching Liz kiss and suck Cat’s bountiful breasts, I felt Tim’s hand brush against my own, and it was like an electric shock.  It felt totally natural.  Our fingers intertwined, and clasped, and then we were kissing, and then Tim was stripping and tugging off my clothes.

It felt really good to kiss him.  He was strong, and his body felt hard and cut, and there was a little stubble on his face which felt strange but good against mine.  I hadn’t fooled around with a guy since –Christ, junior high!– but it felt great, and I wasn’t about to stop.  It wasn’t like kissing a girl.  He smelled –and tasted– clean and masculine.  My dick was threatening to burst my zipper.

I looked over at Liz and Cat.  Cat was on her back on the wide-planked floor, tits spilling over to either side, knees raised up to her chest.  Her skirt was piled up around her waist.  If she’d been wearing panties before, she sure wasn’t now.  I caught a nice glimpse of her pussy, which was shaved bare and had sweet fat labia, and then Liz’s head obscured my view.  Liz’s shirt was open, and her smallish boobs were threatening to fall out of her black lacy bra.

Tim deftly unbuttoned my pants, and shucked my trousers and my boxers down around my ankles, and then my erection was out in the open, bobbing and wiggling proudly around, and Tim, who was half naked already, got down on his knees between my legs and started sucking my dick.

It had been a really long time, literally years and years, since I’d had a proper blowjob.  It felt amazing.  I threw my head back, closed my eyes, and reveled in the sensations.  Right then it didn’t matter one fig to me that the mouth producing those amazing feelings belonged to a dude: it just felt great.

Tim’s head was bouncing up and down on my lap, and his tongue was doing these incredible loop-de-loop things to my dick, and I was having to fight really hard to not come right away, right into his mouth.

I glanced over at the girls.  They had left off what they had been doing, and were watching Tim and me with smoldering intensity.  They were lying like spoons on the wood floor, and Liz had one hand up inside Cat’s skirt.  Cat, still delightfully bare-chested, made momentary eye contact with me and gave me a big thumbs-up.

Tim stood up, letting my cock flop wetly out of his mouth, and then his own pants and underwear came off and joined mine in a heap on the floor.  Then he was kissing me hotly and wetly and ferociously, and our dicks were rubbing together, and then he turned around and bent over his desk, soft-core lesbo porn still filling his computer screen, and I was clutching him tight from behind, pressing my chest against his back, letting my wet dick slide up and down between his ass cheeks, and then my hand found his hard dick, and my fingers clasped around it, and I started stroking him.

His cock was sort of on the small side, but I certainly wasn’t complaining.  Jerking him off felt like the most natural thing in the world, and knowing that the two girls were watching just made it all the more sexy.

“Condom,” Tim whispered throatily, “Desk drawer.”

Twice I almost fumbled it, tearing open the package and rolling it on.  I couldn’t think of the last time I’d had to use a condom: my wife had been on the pill since we’d started dating.

I felt Liz and Cat’s eyes hot on me as I awkwardly maneuvered my cock toward Tim’s opening.  My hand was still busy on his hard dick, and he was breathing hard and trying to hump back against me, which made it rather difficult to aim.

At last, the end of my cock found his puckered anus.  There was another jolt of electricity between us, and Tim shifted, pressing himself insistently back against my cock.  He was moaning out loud now, and I may have been moaning myself as we rocked together as one, my cock nestled against his asshole.

I didn’t think it would actually go in.  It felt like he was clenched tight; but rubbing like that felt great.  Then suddenly, he shoved his body back against me just as I was humping forward, and his anus yielded slightly, and the pitch and volume of Tim’s moans went up a notch, and the head of my cock was suddenly nestled snugly inside his almost painfully tight grasping and clenching asshole.

“Oh!  Gentle, gentle, gentle…” he croaked through clenched teeth, and it took all the willpower I possessed to not ram my dick deep inside him and fuck his ass hard and fast.  “Ah shit, it’s too intense… shit!  I’m coming!”

I felt his dick twitch in my hand as I pumped it, and his ass pulsated, allowing a little more of my cock inside, and then Tim was shooting off, making a giant pearly puddle of come on his office floor, and my cock slowly slid deeper into his body, impaling him, and his asshole was spasming on me as he came, over and over, and then I was coming too, pressed hard against his back, my cock buried halfway up his ass, my face in his sweaty hair, my hand still wrapped around his dick, howling like a monkey as I came and trying to be gentle at the same time as I thrust involuntarily, emptying my balls and filling the condom with my come.

There was a glassy look in Tim’s eyes, and a big smile on his face as we delicately disengaged, and I’m sure I looked much the same.  The girls were locked tight together on the floor, and Cat had Liz’s jeans open and I could see her purple panties, and Cat’s hand was busy inside them, and I could hear her fingers squishing away, and then Liz came, silently, her face a mask of intensity, and it was beautiful.


“Ok, THAT was weird!” I said to Liz later on at the bar.

“Are you kidding?!” she said, taking a big swallow of her dark foamy beer, “THAT was smoking hot!”

“It was kind of freaky.”

“What, because you fucked a dude?  C’mon on, admit it, the whole scene was totally hot.”

“Ok, I admit it, it was pretty hot.  But it was still freaky.”

“Listen, you’re not gay if that’s what you’re worried about.”  Liz put down her pint glass and looked at me seriously across the table.  “Neither is Tim for that matter, I know that for a fact.  Listen, you’d fuck Cat if you got half a chance, wouldn’t you?  You’d fuck Devon.  Hell, you’d probably fuck me if I offered.  And I’d still be a lesbian.  If I did you, which I’m not going to.  Hey, it’s a dull gate that only swings one way.  Don’t sweat it man.”

I didn’t sweat it, and neither did Tim, though we never talked about what we’d done and it didn’t happen again.  I played the episode back in my head sometimes at night when I jerked off, but more often I thought about doing the same thing only with Cat, or Devon, or with Liz.


When Mrs. Goldbaum walked unannounced into my office, I was almost caught with my pants down.  Literally.  I barely managed to close out the porn site I’d been perusing and open up something that looked like work.  Mrs. Goldbaum came to visit irregularly, but usually on Wednesday or Thursday, occasionally on Tuesday; but never on Monday or Friday.  This was a Friday, and I had just been contemplating going to see if Liz and Cat wanted to cut out for an early lunch at the bar with me and not come back.

She closed the door behind herself with a bang, and I jumped.  Since I’d been hired on nearly three months before, my contact with Mrs. Goldbaum had been minimal.  She signed my paychecks, and peeked in every week or two to make sure I was working.  She hadn’t actually spoken to me since the interview.

“Hello Mrs. Goldbaum,” I swiveled around in my chair, hoping I didn’t sound too nervous.  “What can I do for you today?”  Fuck, small as it was, I really needed this paycheck.

“May I be frank?” she asked, walking across the room and standing next to my chair, a little too close for comfort.  She smelled strongly of liquor.  I could feel her body heat next to mine, and it was not necessarily an unpleasant sensation at all.

Mrs. Goldbaum was an imposing woman, six feet tall, with a thick gold ring on the third finger of her left hand.  She had salt-and-pepper hair down to the middle of her back, severe-looking black-rimmed glasses, and she wore a dark pinstripe suit that showed off her substantial bust as well as a pronounced paunch around her waistline.

“I have to tell you,” Mrs. Goldbaum said, setting herself on my lap.  She was kind of heavy, but I didn’t mind. “That I find you highly attractive.”  She smelled of gin, I thought.  The fumes alone were threatening to get me drunk.  I was sure that she could feel my erection poking her through the bottom of her slacks.  She shrugged off her jacket and tossed it aside, and began unbuttoning the front of her blouse.  “Does it bother you that I’m your boss?  Does it bother you that I’m a married woman?”  She unsnapped her brassiere.  Her tits were huge, dwarfing even Cat’s substantial rack.  Her nipples were thick, like oversized pencil erasers, dark pink and erect.  She stuck her boobs right up in my face.  “You don’t mind, do you?”

I didn’t mind, and I happily kissed her breasts and sucked and nibbled on the nipples, making them stick out even more than they were already.

“Mmm, nice.” she said, dropping down off my lap and onto her knees and fumbling with the button of my fly.  She got my jeans open, and my cock flopped out like a jack-in-the-box.  “Very nice!”

My dick was pointing straight up at the ceiling.  Mrs. Goldbaum wrestled my pants and boxers down around my ankles.  She captured my penis with her cleavage; I watched, fascinated, as my dick disappeared between the soft, warm mounds of flesh.  My cock reappeared, sandwiched between her pale, pillowy breasts, the head all scarlet and eager.

“Mister,” she said, taking off her glasses and setting them carefully on the edge of my desk, “I am going to eat you for lunch.”  Tits swinging like a pair of huge pendulums, she crawled back toward my erection, a stalking tigress, ready to pounce on her prey.

Mrs. Goldbaum attacked my cock like a greedy kid with an ice cream cone, slurping up and down, all over the shaft and balls before capturing the swollen head between her lips and sucking hard while pumping the shaft vigorously up and down.

She was really good at this.  The things her mouth was doing to my cock felt fantastic.  The fact that she was my boss, married, probably nearly 60 years old, drunk, and most likely totally insane; all this ceased to matter very much to me.  As she sucked, hunched over my lap, I could see the leopard-print panties down the back of her slacks, and I found myself itching with curiosity to find out what was going on inside those panties.

Very deliberately, with a wicked glint in her eyes, Mrs. Goldbaum wet one finger and, still holding the head of my cock captive between her lips, she stuck it between my ass cheeks until she found the virgin territory of my anus.  I jumped, and tried to squirm away.  She just grinned around my cock, and wormed her finger up my butt.

I’d never been touched like that before.  My first reaction was to clench up, to try and pull away.  Mrs. Goldbaum was insistent though, and I quickly realized that what she was doing felt really really good.

I groaned out loud, and she penetrated me deeply, burying her finger all the way up to the knuckle in my ass.

“Come on,” Mrs. Goldbaum said, letting my dick pop free of her mouth, “Fuck my face!”  She plunged back down onto my cock, literally swallowing me whole.  Her face was buried in my pubic hair.  My dick must have been halfway down her throat.  She wiggled her finger in my ass.  Needed no more encouragement, I grabbed her thick graying hair with both hands and started humping her mouth.  She stayed with me, choking and gagging a little, but swallowing me enthusiastically the whole time, gobbling my cock eagerly as I fed it to her.  The finger up my ass was pressing buttons I hadn’t even known I possessed.  In some corner of my mind, I realized that I was screaming as I came, and that everyone in the office could probably hear me.  My climax seemed to last forever as I pumped what felt like buckets and buckets of come straight down Mrs. Goldbaum’s hungry throat.

She disentangled herself from my limp body, grinning like a huge, well-fed cat.

“We can’t keep on doing this,” she said as she strapped herself back into her brassiere and retrieved her shirt and jacket.  I just sat on my damp swivel chair, pants around my ankles, gasping as if I’d just run a footrace.  “People will start to talk.”   She finished buttoning her shirt and straightened out her jacket.  “I do hope this won’t affect our working relationship.”

And then she was gone.


Later on, at the bar, when I described what had happened to Liz, she just laughed.

“Oh yeah, she does that to everybody.”




I walked into Devon’s office one afternoon a few weeks later.  Devon was almost exactly half my age, fresh out of college, a cuddly redhead with a ready smile, a pretty face, a cute up-turned nose, a bit of a belly, and a truly gorgeous ass.  I had developed a major crush on Devon, and I would use any excuse to go visit her office.

Liz was already in there, hanging out sitting sideways on the desk.  As soon as I entered the room, Devon reached for her mouse and hastily clicked a window shut.  That, I had learned in my relatively short time working at this company, could only mean one thing: internet porn.

The question I had ostensibly dropped by to ask, about file-naming conventions, was so obviously just an excuse to hang out that Devon didn’t even both answering it, and Liz just leered knowingly at me.

The three of us gossiped idly for a few minutes.  I wasn’t sure, but I thought Devon might have been flirting with me, and I kind of wished that Liz would bugger off and leave the two of us alone.

Then there was one of those expectant pauses that seem to derail conversation from time to time, a bug in the social interplay mechanism.  Liz was the one who broke the silence.

“Go ahead, ask him.  I bet he does.”

Devon turned crimson, but stayed mute.

“Fine then, I’ll ask him myself.”  Liz turned to me and asked sweetly, “So, do you think chicks with strap-ons are hot?”

It was my turn to go crimson.  “Heck yeah,” I said, “Totally hot.”

Another awkward pause, which was quite unexpected broken by Tim, who poked his head in the door.  “Heads up gang,” he said, “Goldbaum’s in the house!”


Later on that same afternoon, after a couple annoying hours of writing annoying pop-up ads while Mrs. Goldbaum patrolled the office making sure we were all coding away like good little worker bees, we evacuated en masse to the bar.  Coding was thirsty work, and had to be quenched with beer at the earliest possible opportunity.

Tim left after the first round, and Liz and Cat stayed for two beers and then buggered off, Liz sending significant looks my way as they left the bar arm in arm.  Me and Devon were left alone over the third round.

“So,” Devon said to me over the remains of her beer, “What are you doing this evening?”

“I don’t know,” I said, “Did you want to get dinner or a movie or something?”

“Why don’t we just go back to my place?”

I choked, nearly inhaling the dregs of my beer.

We took a cab over to Devon’s joint, a sixth-floor walkup on the Lower East Side.  We made out in the back of the cab, fingers intertwined, kissing like a couple of shameless wanton horn-dog teens as the cab wound its way through the city streets.

Devon’s living room was painted Satan red, and featured a red Persian rug, a red velvet mock-Victorian couch, and piles upon piles of books, some shelved, some not.  She looked at me critically, my erection making a conspicuous tent in the front of my jeans.

“You should take a shower.” she declared.

When I emerged from Devon’s shower (complete with loofahs, girlie lotions and rubber duckies) I found her waiting for me in her bedroom, nude.  Her body was all softness and curves.  If she didn’t back off on the partying and start working out, I thought, she’d probably have to worry about her figure in a few years; but for the moment she looked absolutely angelic.  There was a golden-red triangle of neatly trimmed pubic hair between her legs, and her puffy labia pouted shyly out.

“You just got divorced, didn’t you?” she asked me.


“I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok.  It was for the best, honestly.”

She sat up.  Her breasts looked really nice.  Not huge, but nicely shaped, with pretty pink nipples.  “I want to make you feel really good.” she said.

I got up on the bed with her, and we kissed, deep and slow, for a long time.  Her small soft hand squeezed my rigid cock, and my own hand found its way between her legs, where her pussy was nice and slippery.  I pressed a finger inside her.  She was hot inside, and very wet.  I took pleasure in the sharp intake of breath as I penetrated her.

“Roll over” she whispered in my ear.  Gently, but firmly, she extracted my probing finger from the juicy folds of her cunt.

I lay face-down on her clean white sheets while Devon straddled me.  She rubbed my neck, my shoulders, my lower back, kneading all the seized-up crunchy knots that riddled my back.  The massage felt really good, and the sensation of her squishy, wet pussy brushing against my skin as she worked felt really good too.

Then she shifted her position, and I could feel her breasts on the backs of my thighs, and her hot breath on my ball sac and the crack of my ass, and I shivered with delicious anticipation.

Delicately, almost hesitantly, she ran the tip of her tongue down my tailbone, parted my ass cheeks, skirted my anus, traversed my perineum (which made me shiver), and playfully licked my scrotum, before licking her way back up into the dark, sensitive forbidden territory of my ass.  Shyly at first, and then more and more aggressively, she licked my asshole. The sensation was incredible!  My anus suddenly felt like the center of the universe, like a blossoming lotus. Her tongue felt like a hot, wriggling, naughty snake, squirming about six feet up my ass.  I was panting and moaning into the pillow and thrusting my ass up against her tongue.  Underneath me, my hard cock felt like it was about a yard long.

“Hold on,” Devon gasped, coming up for air, “Don’t move!”

I felt her clamber off the bed, and after a moment I disobediently rolled over onto my side.  Devon was awkwardly struggling with the loops and buckles of a red leather harness.  When she saw me watching, she smiled sheepishly and brushed a lock of red hair out of her face.

“Is this ok?” she asked.

We were certainly about to venture into uncharted waters.  The place she was proposing to go wasn’t anywhere near my comfort zone.  But then, the last three months had been a fire storm of new experiences, and my dick had rarely been as hard as it was at that moment.  I wasn’t about to back out now.

She finished strapping herself into the harness, and buckled the dildo into place.  It jutted straight out from her crotch, purple, semi-realistic, and to my relief (and to my somewhat surprised secret disappointment) not too gigantic.

She looked beautiful like that.  I mean, she looked beautiful anyway, but just then, naked, a nervous smile on her lips, her skin flushed and her nipples pink and excited, her eyes sparkling naughtily, and that incongruous purple dildo projecting from her crotch… I was a little overcome.

I knelt before her on my knees and took the dildo in my mouth and started blowing her.  Her cock filled my mouth.  I could feel it buzzing, humming happily away.  She seemed to enjoy that.  She ran her fingers through my hair and rocked gently back and forth as I sucked.  I fingered her pussy as I sucked her cock.  She was very wet.

After a minute or so of this she gently pushed me away.  “Are you ready?” she asked, retrieving a bottle of lube from her bedside table.

I got on all fours on her bed, and she crawled up behind me.  She poured cool lubricant all over my ass, which felt nice.  She playfully squeezed my cock with her slicked-up hand, and that felt quite nice.  Then, while she softly petted my dick with one hand, she gently inserted a slippery finger up my lubed-up ass, and that felt really good.

We stayed like that for a few moments, while she stroked my hard cock and finger fucked my asshole.  But both of us were impatient to get on to the main event.

She released my dick, which hung thickly down between my legs, and extracted her finger, leaving my anus feeling wide-open, sensitive and vulnerable.  I watched through my legs as she positioned herself behind me.  Her pussy was so wet the come was leaking out of her in long, sticky clear strands.

I felt the end of her cock bump against my asshole, and I tried to force myself to relax.  I felt a little panic rising up, and I choked it down.  I wanted this.  I took a deep breath and blew it out, and just then she nudged forward and—

“Holy shit! I’m inside you!  This is so fucking sexy!”

“Fuck me,” I managed to spit out, “fuck me now!”  The sensation was overwhelming.  I felt totally filled up, stretched to the maximum, surfing a wild wave between pleasure and pain, and so far pleasure was winning out.  I found myself humping back against her thrusts, trying to get more of her cock inside me.  “Fuck me hard!”

Devon obliged me, fucking my ass gently at first, then harder and faster as we both got more and more excited.  My cock was bouncing wildly with every blow, and Devon’s hips were slapping against my butt, and we were both gasping and panting.  It was so intense.  I wasn’t sure just how much more I could take.

“Holy shit, I’m gonna come!” Devon cried out, grinding herself against the base of the buzzing dildo planted in my behind.

“Oh please please please!” I moaned incoherently.  She wrapped a hand around my swollen cock and pumped wildly.  That was all I needed.  I felt a rush of orgasmic pleasure that ran all the way from my toes to my ears, and every muscle in my body in between, and with a roar, I squirted gobs and gobs of hot sticky come all over her nice clean sheets.  Meanwhile Devon was coming, making sweet little hiccupping cries as she fucked my ass.

“Would you be my special boyfriend?” Devon asked me later on when we had both recovered a little bit and were cuddling in a happy state of post-orgasmic bliss.

“Sure, I’d be happy to” I told her, and we kissed for a while before moving on to round two, which involved more traditional, but still very hot penis-in-vagina sex.

Not long after that, I got myself a real job at a much bigger software company that produced real software.  My new job pays a lot better, but then again, I actually have to work every day, and I’m not boinking all my co-workers.

I’m still Devon’s special boyfriend.  We’ve been talking about cohabitating, but both our places are too small, and Devon tends to bring home a lot of different guys during the week, so I think we’re going to get a big two bedroom together.

We have an open relationship, which means we both have the right to sleep with whoever we like, whenever we feel like it.  Devon takes full advantage of this arrangement; so far I’ve only slept with one other woman.  I see my ex-wife pretty much every other weekend.  Our relationship has never been better.



  1. smutkitten said

    Like I said on my tumblr, I think this is the hottest bisexual story I’ve ever read!

    • elsiewrites said

      Well, thank you!

  2. ElsieFanny said

    I am completely with smutkitten on the heat index of the story.

    One thing that I also very much appreciate is the cute little hook you have with the last two sentences.

  3. This reminds me of my first office job. Well , minus all the sex, of course…

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