Archive for April, 2010

Round Hole Meets Square Peg

A blind date. So it had really come down to this? I mean I knew I was a lifeless dweeb and all: my hobby is fixing things that were never meant to be fixed, but a blind date? Really?

The tip of the soldering iron looked huge in the magnifying glass, and it trembled slightly as I worked. The 48-pin connector I had clamped in place with alligator clips filled my field of vision like the surface of the Death Star. Almost there…

True enough, I hadn’t been out on a date since I’d moved to this city. True enough, I was working two jobs: days in a bike shop, evenings at the computer lab, helping undergraduates un-crash their machines and recover their homework. True enough, my plans for the weekend consisted of a bottle of wine, internet porn, and a circa-1985 x386 pc-clone that refused to boot. Why the heck not? Maybe it’d be fun.

Maria had offered me Saturday off, paid, if I went. She said I deserved it. She said we’d get along great. Maria could be very convincing when she chose to be.

One more pin to solder. Almost there

Fuck, I was late already. I carefully replaced the soldering iron in its cradle (you only drop that thing in your lap once!) and switched off my halogen work light. Fuck, did I have time for a quick shower? Yes, I’d make time. Fuck, did I even have any clean underwear? Screw the underwear: I’d go commando, make do with a clean(ish) pair of jeans and t-shirt.

By the time I left the apartment I was already fifteen minutes late, and I was ten blocks from the bar where we were supposed to meet. I thought ruefully of the state of my bedroom, hoped I hadn’t left anything embarrassing lying out. Not like it mattered; I wouldn’t be bringing anyone home. It was just a first date. A blind date.


I had met Maria two weeks ago for a cup of coffee. She had been telling me about this “cute” guy she had working for her. At first I thought she had a crush on him, and talking to me about it was her way of trying to remain faithful to her new hubby – her third – until she told me point blank she was setting us up. I cringed. More often than not she and I had very different tastes. Plus I had gone through so much lately; I just wasn’t really in the mood to date. But she had a way of making you agree to anything just to get her off your back.

I sighed deeply, my breasts looking like they were about to fall out of my sweater, and ordered another drink.

So here I was sitting at a bar I did not know, nursing a second beverage and asking myself if I was about to be stood up. I wore, a red sweater that I had paired up with a form fitted dark denim skirt and the sexiest stilettos I had in my arsenal. I wanted to look my best, you just never know. The fine cashmere and silk blend hugging my curves, stretched as I sighed yet again. After this drink I was leaving. I waited for no man. In fact I was tempted to just down this one and depart.

I felt a tentative tap on my shoulder. I turned and under the slovenly exterior that greeted my first glance – I saw the most intense green eyes I had ever come across. What was shocking was the intense loneliness and hidden hope.

I felt a certain moistness, and my cock rise between my thighs.


I was late. Late late late! I considered turning around and walking out of there, going home and masturbating and getting drunk, my standard Friday night modus. Thing is I’d never hear the end of it from Maria. The woman has a very forceful personality.

How was I supposed to recognize this woman anyway? I nudged my way through a knot of hipsters toward the bar. The music here was too loud, the place was too crowded. I didn’t belong here.

Oh shit, that had to be her. And I was seriously underdressed.

A beautiful woman in red and black: fair, nearly translucent skin, delicate hands with long fingers, and an angelic face.  She was idly toying with a nearly empty martini glass. She was shorter than me, and quite busty, a fact that was accentuated by her form-fitting sweater. She looked like she was dressed for a fashion shoot. And I looked like a schlub. She tapped her high heels impatiently and stirred the remains of her drink.

Against my will, I felt my dick swell as it hung unrestrained in my baggy jeans. Christ, she looked like a model! Ok, not an anorexic-skinny model, but still… I was in deeply over my head. What I should really do is go home now, I thought, go home and lube up the Excel and dream up some excuse for Maria tomorrow.

I swallowed and stepped up behind her, raised my arm and tapped her on the shoulder. She swiveled on the barstool and I felt her flashing brown eyes upon me, appraising me, summing me up. My treacherous penis was threatening to become a full-on erection.

“Hi” I said, feeling like an asshole, “I’m sorry I’m late. Can I … can I, um, buy you a drink?”


Good thing Maria had warned me that he’d be a “fashion disaster” and not to judge this book by the cover. She was correct, there was indeed no style there and I wasn’t even sure if everything he wore was fresh. I could feel my nose wiggling trying to at least assess if he had showered. But she had also been dead on regarding his looks. He was very, very cute. By his shy demeanor, he was adorably and utterly oblivious to that fact. That made him all the more attractive.

“Sure, Apple Martini if you don’t mind. I know it’s a really girlie drink but they are good”. I said watching him trying to politely squeeze in next to me.

“I was worried you were going to stand me up.” He opened his mouth to explain … I quickly cut him off.

“I almost didn’t show up either … don’t worry about it. In my mind I was thinking three martinis and then go home. I am actually glad you came. Maria was right … you are cute.” I saw his face flush a deep red and his ears were burning crimson.

He ordered the drinks and settled into some small talk. I revealed my profession as a social worker, leaving out my specific field of support. He talked about his move, leaving out the reasons for it. I sensed a woman might have had something to do with it. We both danced around the really personal issues avoiding revealing too much too soon. We obviously both carried a lot of baggage, but that in itself gave us some common ground and we did get progressively comfortable.

Before long, I was on my fourth Martini, my cut off if I don’t want to be hammered and wake up the next day with yet another regret to note in my diary. I felt warm, and at ease with him. Once he relaxed he was rather charming. Frequently blushing when complimented, passionate about helping others, obviously stuck in life and not sure what to do or where to go. I had to admit it. I liked him. He wasn’t a stray puppy – more like a stray wolf. Yes I liked him, and of course…. that meant a potential problem.

He tried to say something but the noise in the club had gone up a few more decibels. I shook my head to show him I had not heard. Leaning in, he moved my hair carefully with trembling fingers away from my ear. My body quivered in delight and the blood rushed to my balls and nipples. He shouted a little too loudly “You want to go someplace more quiet??”

He stood there, like a big, terrified of rejection teenager. I counted my heart beats pounding in my head. 1 – 2 – 3…. and nodded.


Three beers and I was lit. Not exactly shitfaced, but sober by no stretch of the imagination either. After I blurted it out, I immediately regretted it. I stood there next to her at the bar for a long moment, feeling like a complete doofus. Which, I supposed, I really was.

And then she nodded her head, stood up, grabbed her handbag. I felt a flood of relief. I paid our tab, tipped WAY more than I could afford, and together we made our way through the wall of hipsters to the door.

It was cool outside, and much quieter. She was giggling and stumbling a little in her heels; I was quiet and nervous. If this date was going anything like the way it now looked to be going… Well it had been a very long time, and nothing in this life is ever simple.

There was no discussion about where we were headed, we just walked. We just happened to find ourselves walking the ten or so blocks toward my apartment. She put her arm around my waist to steady herself, and we walked like that together. She smelled nice, like an expensive perfume. Her closeness and warmness felt really good and made my cock strain and chafe against the denim fabric of my jeans. She did most of the talking as we walked, and I was relieved to discover that, despite her exterior looks, she was hardly a prissy girly-girl.

Finally we stopped. We were standing in front of my apartment building, a shady-looking old 6-story brick tenement.

“Well…” I said, “This is my place.”

She giggled and detached herself from around my waist. “Yes, I had guessed that it might be.”

“Would you… Would you like to come up?”

“Yes” she said, a little hesitantly, “I think I’d like to come up. Just for a little while.”

On impulse, I reached over and kissed her. She kissed me back, hard and hot. Her lips felt amazing. I moved in closer to her, keeping my lips pressed against her plump cherry ones. I knew she could feel my straining hard-on through my jeans. She opened her mouth and let my tongue explore her. Our tongues met, and electricity coursed through us. I felt her hand on my ass. I put my arm around her shoulder, pulling her in closer to me, squishing her big soft breasts against my chest.

Like a pair of teens, we stood there on the sidewalk, making out in the harsh light of mercury-vapor streetlights. A passing car honked and hooted, and at last she broke off the kiss. “Maybe we should continue this conversation upstairs.” she said with a seductive little smile.


I liked the way his body felt against mine. He was warm and welcoming. His lips were eager and yet, he wasn’t sloppy. His tongue didn’t try to play tag ball with my tonsils and his hands remain polite – if just on the verge of indiscreet.

My nipples were achingly hard. In fact there was a lot that was hard. As we walked up the stairs I braced myself for the potentially magic killing phrase “Oh by the way – That lump in the front of my panties?  It’s a dick, and it’s really hard just for you”.

I sighed. He looked at me then and whispered “You alright? We don’t have to … I mean ….” I just smiled as sweetly as I could, swatted his ass and told him to get a move on. I was acting a little more playful than I felt.

His place was as much a mess as he was. I couldn’t believe it. I had seen a few bachelor pads in my day but damn it, this was beyond messy. I wondered if it reflected his state of mind.  I was about to unleash something on him and looking at the place, and him … suddenly I felt unsure he would be able to handle it.

He hastily tossed a load of cleanish clothing in a pile, blushing all the time.  “Coffee?” he asked trying to find something to do with himself.

“Yeah sure … not a bad idea”.  He wandered off into the tiny kitchenette and with trembling hands he went about making a decent cup of joe.  I looked at the details around me.  Half his belongings it seemed were still in boxes.  There were electric bits all over the place, wires and such littered the floor and every surface.  I felt like I had accidentally walked into the sorcerer’s lair. The day bed in the corner of the small adjacent room was surprisingly large and the sheets looked clean.  Well … at least that.

I was about to get up and join him when I saw it then … there on a small pile of books that seemed to double duty as the nightstand … a black dildo.  My jaw dropped. Not just any dildo – that was the Nexus Excel! Not the Aneros for beginners – this was a little more …hard core.

I went to it – drawn like a moth to a flame and picked it up.  I turned around holding it in my hand, and with the sweetest smile I could muster, just raised an eyebrow.


The mess… Oh god, the mess! The moment I had let us into the apartment, I realized what a dump the place really was, and I strenuously, achingly wished that I had done a little clean-up. I really hadn’t expected to be bringing anyone home.

I cleared off the kitchen table while the coffee brewed. A Commodore 64, a set of metric torque drivers, my neighbor Claudia’s defunct VCR… “Do you take milk and sugar?”

“A little milk, no sugar” she replied from the bedroom. Oh god, the bedroom… I prayed that I had at least changed the sheets. I honestly couldn’t remember. The erection in my pants ached, and there was no way now it was going away on it’s own. I needed stimulation. The kind of stimulation that nice girls don’t necessarily provide. I prayed to whatever gods of sex there are that she wasn’t one of those ‘nice girls’.

“I’m sorry about all the clutter,” I said, bringing two mugs of hot coffee into the bedroom where she was sitting on the edge of the (clean sheets!) bed. “It’s just that I’m a bit of a pack-rat, and I like to fix things that are broken…”

My voice trailed off into an unfinished sentence when I saw what she was holding in her hands. At least I knew for a fact THAT was clean!

She arched one eyebrow exquisitely.

“Oh boy. You know, I really wasn’t expecting company tonight. The truth is, you know… the fact is I’m a bit of a freak.”

A tiny little smile played on her face. “Do tell.”

Setting the mugs down, I blushed and stammered. “Well the thing is… the thing is that I’m unable to achieve orgasm… What I mean is I can’t get off, physically can’t –it’s incredibly frustrating- without, ah, direct stimulation to my prostate.” I felt red and hot and awkward. This was where she would make her more-or-less graceful hasty exit. The erection in my jeans throbbed mercilessly. It would continue throbbing unabated until I was able to stick that Nexus (or some similar object) up my butt.

“Oh, is that all?” she smiled prettily. “Jeez, I thought you were going to tell me something really shocking. That doesn’t sound like an all bad condition to me… As a matter of fact, I think it might be kind of fun.”

She stood up and gave me a hug. A big hug, a big close warm hug.

We kissed again, and this time she reached down and grabbed the package that was protruding from the front of my jeans. “Mmm… VERY nice!”

I ran my hand down her sweater, feeling the soft fullness of her breasts. My hand continued it’s path down the front of her denim skirt. It was there that I encountered a lump I hadn’t been expecting to encounter. A very prominent lump. My hand stopped there for a moment, and then continued it’s path down to her naked thigh, where I stopped and squeezed her warm flesh. It felt good to touch her, though I was no longer completely sure she was a ‘her’; and I wasn’t completely sure what to make of that.

“Are you… are you a transgendered person?” I asked softly.

She looked up at me, a scared vulnerable look on her face. “No,” she said, “Just a freak. I’m a girl, one hundred percent female… except for the equipment between my legs. I was born this way. I’m a mutant.”

I kissed her again, and squeezed her close, letting the lump in her skirt rub deliciously against the lump in my own jeans.


He was still there.  My heart beat faster, my cock got harder, my breath caught in my throat as I kissed him with more vigor.  Not only was he still there, but he was holding me tightly, desiring me, wanting me. His lips tasted sweeter than before and a sense of giddiness filled my entire body.

I let my hands caress his body, my fingers finding their way under his shirt I was surprised to find satin smooth skin.  He wasn’t an athlete but he had a natural slenderness to him that was pleasing.  I found myself begging him breathlessly to take his shirt off.

He complied and I took his hand, pulled him towards me.  Together we stumbled onto the bed.  He lay next to me – and this time let his hands wander all over my body.  He seemed to enjoy teasing me as his touch remained above my clothing.  It was maddening and thrilling all at once.  I knew my face was flush, I could hear my own moans escape from my lips. I was losing control and I no longer cared.  Not one bit.

I let myself relax into it. He had not asked me to leave. He had not asked for more explanation or about the “how” I or he would or could engage in intercourse.  No.  He had simply accepted me – as a her – and as I was. No odd moment of adaptation … nothing.  Could he be real? Or was I at home again, half drunk jerking off in an alcohol induced haze?

His lips on mine as his hand finally made their way under my top made this reality crystal clear.  I had never wanted anyone so completely.


My hands underneath her top found her large, shapely breasts and she sighed and pressed her hot body against mine. Her bra was definitely getting in the way.

Hands trembling, I pulled the red sweater off over her head, and went to work on the bra clasp. My head reeled, drunk with the combined effects of alcohol, lust and– dare I think something beyond pure animal lust? Affection, more…?

It had been a really long time since I had been with a girl. Before I had moved to this city in fact.  My neighbor, Claudia, had seemed at least potentially interested, but I hadn’t dared pursue that. My last encounter had been with a girl I’d met over the internet, a girl who called herself ‘Je33ica’, and who had claimed to be ‘up for anything’. That one had been particularly traumatic, and she’d said some pretty hurtful things, but really it had been the last in a long line of screwed-up miss-matches.

Back to the present situation: she took the matter into her own hand, unsnapping her bra and letting it fall free. Her breasts were large, full, and beautiful. They were also, I was now certain, completely natural. The nipples were big and pink, and swollen hard, begging to be sucked. Which I did, with great pleasure. I loved the way her body felt in my arms, I loved the way she reacted to my touch, my kisses, my nibbles and sucks.

As I lavished affection on her breasts, she fumbled with the fly of my jeans. Good thing too, because I was about ready to burst my buttons. The pants came tumbling off, and my erection bobbed free, swollen, rock-hard and leaking with eagerness. She grinned hungrily.

“So you’re saying you can’t come without having something up your butt?” she asked, “Not at all?”

I nodded solemnly.

“Not even if I gave you a monster blowjob? You wouldn’t be able to get off?”

I nodded again.

Her grin got even bigger, and she grasped my swollen cock in one hand. Her grip was smooth and soft and firm. “I’m really going to enjoy this then!” she said, as she dove in.

I don’t know how long she sucked me, but it was exquisite. Every blowjob I’d ever had before had involved a girl attempting to prove me wrong, to bring me off with the talents of her mouth, a path that could only end in mutual frustration. She approached the matter like a connoisseur, like a gourmet at a buffet, taking her own pleasure in pleasuring me. She kissed and licked and stroked and swallowed me until I was incoherent, begging wordlessly on my back on the bed, my cock sticking straight up, feeling like it was about a yard long. She licked my balls and nibbled my inner thighs and slurped my length up and down before swallowing me entirely, squeezing my ass cheeks hard and drawing her nails up and down my flesh, only to bob up and, still grinning, start all over again.

The one part of my anatomy that could, and would, set me off like a freaking bazooka, she assiduously avoided. She knew it, and I knew it, and so far it made for the best sex I had ever had in my life. And she hadn’t even taken off her skirt yet.

“God you’re amazing!” she said at long last, pulling back and letting me flop wetly in the night air. She peeled off her dark denim skirt. She was wearing bright red lacy string bikini panties. The head of her dick peeked shyly out the waistband. Taking a deep breath, she peeled her panties down, tossing them aside. “God I want you!” she said huskily, her eyes fixed on mine.


I really enjoyed giving head, I would have continued a lot longer but I had to admit that I had worked myself into a frenzy.

I stripped at last, and stood in my naked glory and watched in amazement as he took in what I had to offer. I saw something I never expected in his eyes, something I had always craved … intense desire – want. Not just lust, but this sense of “right”. His erection held, his smile had a sweet turn to it.

“You are way out of my league. You should be a model.  Shit you are hot… ” he whispered.

Standing on the edge of the bed, I watched him make his way towards me on all fours. I looked down and saw a glistening pearl of pre-cum sitting like a gift on the tip of my painfully erect member. Until this very day I had hated my cock – and then he wrapped his fingers expertly around the base, cradled my under sized balls in his hand and licked the drop off before taking me in.  Suddenly, with his tongue on my dick, I felt like I had been blessed.

I felt everything with tantalizing clarity and awareness. His hand now cupping an ass and the other pinching a nipple, I felt my desire mound and build and the moan I heard didn’t seem like my own … Deep lustful hunger. It stopped and I looked down to his smiling face.

“Always wanted to do that … How did I do?” He said grinning playfully.

In response I grabbed his hair and moved his lips back to their business. I felt him chuckle with a mouth full of cock. Was this happening? My heart felt light, my body on fire, my soul free. I was a mutant but one he “digged” and I felt stunning, beautiful and powerful.

“Stop … Please I am going to come ….” He let me pop out like a lollipop. I bent down, pushing him over and lay next to him. For a few languid moments I let myself come down a little, caressing his body, kissing him and enjoying not feeling odd in a mans arms.

He rolled over a moment, and with a gentle kiss, he proceeded to unwrap a condom, and sheath himself, then, he unwrapped another, and left it out for me – for when I was ready. The gesture was tender and almost … Loving.

I reached down, gently stroking her cock, fondling her delicate little balls. She looked deeply into my eyes and then smothered me with a kiss full of passion and desire. My own cock strained impatiently inside the condom. Almost there…

I’d never actually sucked a cock before. Always been curious about it; never really had the chance. I’m attracted to girls, not guys. Life’s never simple, is it?

As we kissed, I idly stoked her cock, and she petted mine. At long last she broke off the kiss, guided my hand with her own: down past her cock, down below her balls. It was hot and wet and sticky down there. She spread her thighs apart for me.

“You could fuck me now if you want,” she said shyly, “It won’t make me come, but it’ll certainly feel nice.”

Her cock was a little shorter than mine, but noticeably thicker. She was uncircumcised, and the purple head winked at me from beneath the foreskin. She was copiously leaking pre-cum, long sweet sticky clear strands of it. There was a tidily trimmed triangle of pubic hair just above her dick; everything else was neatly shaved or waxed. Just below her delicate little ball sac, in the sandbar space above her crinkled brown asshole, her exquisite little vagina pouted wetly open like a baby tulip. It was perfectly formed and beautiful, lacking only the clit. At the top of the slit, where the clitoris would have been, was the base of her scrotum.

“Be careful of the balls,” she grimaced slightly, “They’re delicate. It’d probably be better if I were on my knees.”

When we got repositioned, she was on all fours on my futon mattress, and I found myself directly behind her, admiring the view. Her dick hung thickly down, her balls dangled loosely. Her little pussy drooled lustfully. She had a beautiful ass, shapely, china-white and smooth. I smacked it once: WHACK, and she wiggled her rear end invitingly. My hand left a red imprint on her butt cheek.

I positioned the end of my cock between her labia, nudged forward. “Oh! Gentle, gentle… I’m kind of small down there… go ahead, just go slow.”

She was hot inside, burning hot and soaking wet. Super tight around my dick, it took a long time for me to get all the way up inside. When I was finally all the way in, it was like my dick was wearing an undersized velvet glove. I wanted more than anything at that moment to fuck the daylights out of her, to come deep in her pussy. But I knew I couldn’t.

“Oh my god that feels good!” she gasped, “Go ahead and fuck me now!”

I did. It felt amazing. My cock was so hard it hurt. She was moaning and weeping, thrusting back to meet my jabs. I wet one finger and slid it up her asshole. The volume of her moans increased. Her butt gripped my finger tightly. Through her flesh, I could feel my dick sliding in and out of her vagina.

“Holy shit!” she growled over her shoulder at me, “You’re amazing! If you so much as touch my dick, I am going to shoot off so hard…!”

I reached around with my free hand to do exactly that, but she stopped me.

“No,” she said, “Not like that. I’d like to do you now… if that’s ok with you?”

It was SO ok with me! I was beyond ready.


He pulled out slowly, as if almost regretting. I felt empty yet my own cock was painfully in need of stimulation and my balls screamed for release. If I waited much longer this would turn from pleasure to pain – and not the good kind.

He lay on his back, his dick naked and pointing up at the ceiling. I was a little surprised, having expected him to just come over and take my place. But he didn’t. He leaned over and grabbed the condom, pulling me towards him playfully and eagerly, and with exquisite stroking rolled it tenderly onto my cock, sheathing me.

He cradled my balls lovingly a moment, and then reached over, squirted lube out of the dispenser on the little side table, and applied it to my cock, his own and copiously on his ass.

“You’re thick, so go easy ok?” He said huskily. His voice had dropped to a sexy base. It made me quiver to hear his need in his voice like that. It was beyond sexy.

I nodded. He then leaned back, and pulled his legs up, all the way up. I was left staring not at my usual vantage point of an ass, but at his cock, his balls and his little brown mark, he was presenting himself to me in a most intimate way.

I placed myself between him. My member hovered near his cock. I pressed gently against his anus. He hissed with pleasure and relaxed completely. Oh yes, he was indeed use to this kind of entry.

I looked down, and kissed him. He had put me in the position of control and I felt dominant, and striking. A first. I leaned in a little more. I felt the amazing tight ring of his anus give way, snap open and I sunk in, slow and deep.

“Oh shit shit … Yesssss” was all he could muster. Once inside I leaned in and he released his knees letting my shoulders hold them in place. His hand pinched my nipple as I started my slow and steady in … and … out.

I am not sure how long it took, a minute or an hour. Time was suspended and we were lost in each other. I felt every hair on my body, every nerve ending was alive and humming with desire. My balls stirred, his fingers pinched my nipples harder and harder in a silent crescendo. I knew he was close. I was beyond the point of release.  I felt the jism mount the entire length of my member and explode inside the condom buried deep in his tight ass. My coming and the scream of pleasure that came with it pushed him over the edge as my final erratic pumps sent him off as well, squirting his hot juice all over the both of us.

I trembled on my arms, suddenly unable to hold myself up….


She collapsed on top of me, gasping for air, her body limp and hot and sweaty, her breasts pressed up against my chest, my cum squooshing stickily between us.

We kissed a little bit, in a tired, affectionate way. There was no discussion: it was already decided- she was going to spend the night in my bed. It just felt right.

A little while later, we woke up enough to dispose of the condoms and to pull a blanket over ourselves. We fell asleep in each other’s arms.

At some point in the night, we both woke up again. I was hard once more; she was hard and wet. I went down on her. I held the head of her cock in my mouth and licked it like a popsicle while I fingered her pussy and her asshole until she came. Funny thing, I’ve tasted my own come before and I’m not crazy about it; but the hot, salty, bitter, slippery stuff that she squirted into my mouth was like nectar to me, and I devoured it hungrily, taking every last drop.

She returned the favor, enveloping my penis with her mouth while she fucked my ass deeply with the Nexus Excel, making me howl and moan until I came, my penis captured between her full red lips. Then we fell asleep again, limbs intertwined, bodies pressed wetly against each other, and neither of us stirred until sunrise.

I woke up early, as was my habit. As soon as the pale sunlight streamed through the narrow slit of my bedroom window, I was irrevocably awake. She was still asleep, beautiful and vulnerable and nude, snoring softly next to me. I extracted myself from her arms.

I got a pot of coffee brewing, and set to finishing up neighbor Claudia’s VCR. The capstan bearings were shot. That was an easy fix; getting hold of new bearings was the hard part. I had tried ordering them from a factory in mainland China, but it ended up being easier to mill new ones on my mini lathe.

Just as I was putting the last screws back into the cover plate, there was a soft tap at the front door. I pulled on yesterday’s jeans and answered the knock.

It was Claudia, of course, and she insinuated herself right in before I could make any excuses.

“I’m not coming by too early am I? Oh, awesome, you fixed my VCR! You’re amazing! I don’t know how I can thank you… Listen, I’ve got something else that is broken, I wanted to see if you could fix it.”

She held out a blue dildo, one of those rabbit things that vibrates and rotates and has its own separate clit tickler. “This stopped working on me last night, I wondered if there’s anything you could do…?”

Most likely the motor had burned out, and would need replacing. Either that or a broken solder connection. Either way, a reasonably easy fix.

As I stood there in the kitchen, contemplating the blue sex toy in my hand, Claudia said, “Oh excuse me! I didn’t realize you had company!”

Fuck. The best sex I had ever had in my life, the first woman I had connected with in a long long long time, the first woman I’d ever met who accepted me without question, this beautiful woman who I might very well be falling for, had just emerged from my bedroom wearing one of my t-shirts and (I was fairly sure) nothing else.

The look of shock and startled annoyance on her face slowly changed into a look of surprise and pleasure. “Claudia!?! What are you doing here? I haven’t seen you since college!”

“I live across the hall… what are YOU doing here?”

We all stared at each other for about seven seconds. Then all three of us burst out in raucous laughter.


(Written as a collaboration between myself and Fantasia Lillith)

Comments (1)


He was cute, and I was feeling flirtatious, so we ended up hanging out all night, letting the party go on around us.  He was kind of quiet, and kind of shy, which doesn’t normally do it for me, but he was also really smart and funny as hell.  And really cute, with magnetic grayish-blue eyes.  So when it got late and people started going home, I let it be known that I wouldn’t mind hanging out a bit longer.

He wasn’t really one to take a hint, but when I made myself perfectly clear, he responded appropriately.

We went for a long, meandering walk under the stars and the streetlights, enjoying each others closeness.  It was a long enough walk for both of us to sober up a little bit, and for the sexual tension that had been building between us to reach a critical mass.

Predictably enough, we ended up at his place.  After a long, sweaty make-out session in front of his door, involving much tongue-wrestling, breast-fondling (on his part), and crotch-grabbing (on my part), he broke off the kissing long enough to invite me upstairs.

His place was on the fifth floor.  By the time we got to his apartment, I was panting, and not just from the stairs.  My pussy was so wet, I swear I had soaked right through my jeans.

Which came promptly off, right there on the linoleum of his kitchen floor.  He may have been a little socially retarded, but once he got down to it, this guy meant business!

We made our way to his bedroom, shedding clothes along the way like falling leaves.  By the time we tumbled into bed, I had his big hard dick firmly in my hand.

I took great pleasure in sucking that dick.  It was a really beautiful cock, just the right size, and I gobbled it with glee, bringing him to the very brink and back again over and over until he was literally begging me.  Then it was his turn.

I love having my pussy eaten, eaten well, and eaten by a man who enjoys eating it.  He had an extremely agile tongue, and nine enthusiastic, dexterous fingers that filled my pussy and toyed with my asshole and stroked my clit.  I exploded for him, once, twice, three times, until my body was left shaking and limp.  His dick seemed to have only gotten harder and longer.

“Should I put a condom on?” he asked.  His face was sticky with my come, and seemed to glow in the low light of his bedroom.

Normally I don’t actually fuck guys I’ve only just met.  Normally I save that for the second date.  But I was incredibly turned on, horny beyond all reason or restraint.  Plus, even through the mists of alcohol and lust, I knew that I really liked this guy, and that we’d be spending a lot more time together in the near future.

“I think that’s an excellent idea” I said, and watched languidly as he tore open the little foil packet and rolled the condom carefully down his thick, hard shaft.

I wanted him to skewer me, to spear me, to impale me with one violent thrust.  He knew it too, and chose to torment me instead, rubbing the head of his dick up and down my gasping vulva, nuzzling my clit, hovering right at my entrance until it was me who was squirming and begging.

A big dick and he knew how to use it.  Holy Cats, I felt like I had just hit jackpot.

When he finally entered me, he fucked me hard and he fucked me deep, lifting me up and squeezing my ass.  He held back his own come just barely long enough for me to squeeze in one more orgasm.  When he came, he came with a long, drawn-out, throaty growl and my pussy happily milked his cock dry.  Then he collapsed on top of me, a limp, sweaty heap.

It felt good to be naked with him.  I asked if I could spend the night, which is also pretty unusual for me in that kind of a situation, but it just felt good and I didn’t feel like going home anyway.  He said fine.

We cuddled for a long time in the dark, and I had the feeling that he might be up for a second bout in not too long.  I amused myself by exploring his body with my fingertips.

“So how did you lose your finger?” I asked him idly.  His left forefinger was missing, truncated right at the first knuckle.  It was one of the first things I had noticed about him at the party, right after his sea-grey eyes and that promising-looking bulge in his jeans.

“Oh, you don’t want to know” he said.

“Oh, but I do!” I said.

“It’s a long story” he said.

Now my interest was really piqued.  “We’ve got all night” I told him.

“All right,” he said, “You asked for it…

“It was the summer that I was fourteen years old, but I was a young fourteen.  I didn’t have many friends, and I’d definitely never had a girlfriend or anything like that.” he paused.  “I’ve always been the shy kid.

“There was this lady, Ms. Heath, who lived across the street from my friend Toby.  She hired me to mow her lawn that summer, paid me twenty bucks a week, which was a ton of money to me.  I thought she was beautiful.  She was tall and busty and had a delicious curvy ass and this mass of curly red hair.  Sometimes she’d hang out on her front porch in a bikini while I was mowing, and then offer me a lemonade before she paid me for my work.

“This would usually give me an erection –I was fourteen, you know- and I remember sitting there on the porch with her, my dick ready to burst out of my shorts, squirming with embarrassment, wondering if she’d noticed and half-hoping that she had.

“She was old. She must have been well into her thirties, maybe even her early forties.  I remember that it was kind of odd that she lived alone.  I think she was a nurse or something.

“One hot and humid Saturday in the middle of August, I got done mowing her lawn.  I hadn’t seen or heard her, but I knew she was home because her car was in the driveway, and the front door was ajar.  So I went on in, hoping to get my twenty bucks, and maybe some ice cold lemonade, and hopefully a quick peek at her cleavage or her butt.”

He rolled over onto his side, absently massaging the stump of his index finger, and chuckled sadly.

“It was a set-up.  Of course, it actually took years for me to figure that out, but there you have it.  She wasn’t in the kitchen, she wasn’t in the living room, but I heard noises from the bedroom and the door was open so I went to investigate.

“I had seen plenty of pictures of naked women by that point- I’d been sneaking into my dad’s closet stack of pornos for years.  But let me tell you,” he said, “seeing a real actual woman totally naked was absolutely mind-bending to me.”  He paused, reflecting, “and she really was beautiful, it wasn’t just my over-active adolescent imagination.

“She was spread out on her bed, pillows under her ass, red hair cascading all over the sheet.  Totally, totally nude.  Boobs, pussy, everything on full display.  Her legs were splayed wide apart, and she was slowly working this big pink dildo in and out of her pussy.  That had red hair around it too.  I remember feeling kind of intimidated by the dildo; my own penis wasn’t nearly that big.”

I gave his dick a squeeze.  I thought it was pretty sizeable, myself.  It would have to have been a pretty freaking big toy to make that thing look small.  Of course, he had been fourteen at the time.  Maybe he hadn’t finished growing yet.

“She looked up as soon as I entered the room.  Didn’t even pause in what she was doing.  Just said ‘Well don’t stand there, come on in.’

“I didn’t need to be asked twice!  She had me take off my grass-covered clothes before I got into bed.  I remember feeling really self conscious as she watched me strip.  She watched me really intently, like a cat watching a little bird, and when I was naked, she smiled.

“She had me get between her legs and lick her down there.  She showed me how to lick the little pink button that I knew must be her clitoris, while she continued to fuck herself with the plastic dick.”

He looked at me seriously.  “I was in heaven.  I could have stayed down there all day and all night.  I loved the taste, the smell, the wetness.  Most of all, I loved the reactions that I was getting out of her.  I’ve got to give her that.” He smiled.  “She sure taught me how to eat pussy really well.  If I do say so myself.”

I did not disagree.

“My dick was incredibly hard the whole time I was going down on her.  Like, I was on the verge of coming just from the friction against her bed sheets.  She seemed to have a lot of orgasms that way.  After she had come a bunch of times, she hauled me out from between her legs and had me straddle her chest.

“Her tits were really beautiful, and I had a prime view of them from where I was sitting.  She encouraged me to touch and play with them.  Then she opened up her mouth and swallowed my cock.

“I’m kind of surprised I didn’t come right away from that, but I guess she knew what she was doing.  She’d suck and lick and tease me right to the very edge, then back off.  I was in absolute ecstasy.

“Finally she stopped what she was doing, pushed me away.  Said, ‘One thing I don’t do is let boys come in my mouth.’  I was crestfallen and more than a little disappointed.

“She went on ‘You can finish for yourself right now, or if you want you can go all the way with me.  But if you want to do that, you’ll have to do something for me first.’

“Of course I took the bait.  She whispered it in my ear.  I didn’t believe her at first.  I thought she was joking.  But she was serious, deadly serious.

“She said ‘There’s a cutting board and a cleaver on the kitchen counter.  You’ll find some gauze next to the knives.  Come back when you’re done.  Put a lot of pressure on the wound, I don’t want you getting blood all over the place.’

“I protested a little bit, but it was no use.  ‘If you don’t like it, you’re free to whack off.  You can jerk off in the bathroom if you like.’  ‘What am I supposed to tell my parents?’ I asked. ‘Tell them the truth’ she said, ‘that you reached under the lawnmower to get a stick out while it was still running.’  Oh, she had all the answers.

“Of course my dick won out in the end.  There was never really any doubt about it, was there?  ‘Do it quick, with one chop, that’ll be easiest’ she told me, ‘it’ll hardly hurt at all.’

“I went naked into the kitchen.  Everything was layed out just like she said: cutting board, meat cleaver, gauze and surgical tape, even a little box for what I was about to cut off.

“It took me a while to work up the nerve.  Believe it or not, my dick never even got soft.  I stood there like an idiot for probably five minutes, knife in one hand, my left hand flat on the cutting board, hard-on bobbling away like an x-rated weeble-wobble.  Then I took a deep breath, clenched my teeth, and did it.

‘The knife was really sharp.  It made a nasty crunching noise as it cut through the bone; it sliced straight through the flesh.  She was right, it hardly hurt at all, not at first.  The pain would come later on.  I think I was too jazzed out on endorphins and adrenaline and testosterone.  I guess I thought it would have bled more too.  I mean there was quite a bit of blood, but it didn’t squirt all over the place.  Right away I clapped a piece of gauze over the stump.  My finger looked weird and surreal lying there on the cutting board, like it was somebody else’s or something.  I placed it in the little wooden box and brought it back to her, just like she had told me to.

“Before we did anything else, she dressed the wound up right. ‘Good boy!’ she said, ‘You’re going to get what you need.  I just don’t want you bleeding all over my sheets.’

“She was as good as her word.  She sucked my dick again, brought me all the way back to where we’d left off.  Licked my balls, sucked on my nipples, stuck her tongue up my asshole.

“Then she spread her legs wide apart for me. ‘Come on and get it while it’s hot’ she said, and I did.  It was heaven, better than I’d ever imagined, so hot and slippery around my thrusting dick.  I probably lasted all of five seconds, but those were the best five seconds of my life thus far.  Then I was coming, coming in her juicy pussy.  I went rigid, squirting what seemed like gallons of juice up into her.

“When I was done coming, I found that I was still hard.  Remember, I was only fourteen.  She let me keep on fucking her, and this time I lasted a little longer.  She played with her clit and watched me.  The whole thing was incredibly sexy to me, watching my come-covered dick slide in and out of her slippery pussy, watching her tits bounce and shake, watching her rub her clit.  I may have lasted a whole five minutes that time, before I came again.

“By then, I was getting all woozy and light-headed.  From shock of course.  Various forms of shock.  It was all pretty overwhelming.  She got dressed and I got dressed, and then she drove me to the emergency room, where I dutifully told them I had stuck my hand inside a running lawnmower.  They stretched flaps of skin over the cut and sewed it all up.  That’s when it really started to hurt.  It was even worse the next day.

He sighed.  “I never went back to Ms. Heath’s house after that.  Never got paid my twenty bucks for mowing her lawn that week either.”  He laughed ruefully.  “I just now realized that.”

It was really late by this point, and we were both drifting off.  By mutual unspoken consent, we agreed that there’d be plenty of time for more hot sex in the morning.

“The really fucked up thing,” he said to me just before he fell asleep, “the really fucked up thing is that if you put me back in my teenage shoes, I’d probably do it all over again just the same.”

The really fucked up thing was that I found his story incredibly hot.  I played it over and over again in my head, and masturbated to it as he lay softly snoring next to me.


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The Labyrinth

I don’t remember a time before the labyrinth.  I don’t ever remember not being hungry.  All I can recall is dimly-lit corridors, stone walls and cold cement floors, and a terrible gnawing hunger.

I hated to sleep.  I needed to, from time to time, but I always woke up in a panic; lost and confused and disoriented, hungry and horny.

How many maidens had I devoured back in those days?  Hundreds, probably.  And it pains me now to admit this, but the fact is I raped an awful lot of them too.  I was a monster; I had this big, hard, needy thing between my legs, and fucking maidens with it felt really good.  They didn’t seem to enjoy it very much, but I didn’t think about that at the time; I really didn’t know any better back then.  They had a hole and I had a peg, and anyway I was going to kill them and eat them as soon as I was done.

It was always pretty much the same routine: a pretty young girl dressed only in a sheet wandering through the dusty passageways, sometimes tearful, sometimes not. Often by the time I found them they were all cried out.  Their faces would be blank and hopeless, staggering along lost in the dim flickering light of the fluorescents.

Sometimes I’d stalk them, letting them hear the echoing clap-clop of my hooves, letting them get more and more panicky and terror ridden until the whole labyrinth reeked with the scent of their fear; more often though I was just too impatient.  I’d lurk behind a corner, and then when I heard their footsteps close I’d pounce.

Usually they’d be frozen like little rabbits.  Sometimes I’d have to chase one a little ways.  It didn’t matter, chasing them was almost more fun.  It was no contest: under the best of circumstances I could run six times as fast as any of them, and they’d usually trip over their sheet or their sandals or just collapse in fright after a few steps anyway.

I’d come bellowing and snorting around the corner, rip the sheet of the maiden’s nubile young body; snort and stomp and throw her down on the ground.  I’d force her thighs apart, jam my thing up inside her, and hump her until I was satisfied.  Then I’d snap her neck and devour her flesh, sucking the marrow from every bone.  When I was finished there was nothing left but a pile of torn rags and shattered bones soon to be cleaned up by the daemons, and I was once again left wandering the maze, wracked with hunger and sporting a persistent erection that masturbation just wouldn’t satisfy.

After ages and ages of all this sameness, one maiden was different; and I owe her a debt of gratitude for awakening something deep inside me, a debt that can never be repaid.

Instead of wandering aimlessly through the long corridors, I found this one leaning up against the wall in the entrance corridor near the great front doors with an unlit cigarette dangling from her mouth, looking bored.  When I came bellowing around the corner, she looked up.

“You don’t have a light, do you?”

I shook my head ‘No’.

“Crap” she said, “Figures.”  She eyed the erection that was jutting straight out from my hairy crotch.  “Are you going to rape me or something?”

I snorted and shook my head ‘Yes’.

“You don’t have to, you know.  I mean, I guess you can if you want to, I sure can’t stop you.  You’re going to kill me afterwards, right?”

“Yeah” I admitted sulkily.

“Well shit,” she said, “It seems like the least you could do is show me a good time first.  Heck, you might like it better that way too.”  She smiled a coy little smile.  “I promise I won’t struggle.”

“Listen,” I said, scratching one of my horns against the stone wall, “I’m not exactly sure how this is supposed to work…”

“Here,” she said, “Let’s start this way.  Let me kiss it.”

Oh Ye Gods and Goddesses!  She secreted the unlit cigarette somewhere away (did those sheets they wore come with pockets or something?), got down on her knees and applied her pretty little mouth to my jutting cock.  I had never imagined that such pleasurable feelings were even possible!  I bellowed and snorted, and immediately felt weak in the legs.  I dropped down on my own knees, which made the maiden’s job a lot easier being as I stood about half again as tall as her.

At first she just licked and kissed it, from the purple crown down the shaft to my dangling balls.  The sensation was exquisite!  The girl looked up at me and grinned.  That may have been the first time I ever saw a human with a smile on its face.  She then proceeded to try and swallow me whole.

That didn’t go so well, though she certainly put a good amount of effort into it.  The peg was simply too big for the hole, try as she might. She settled for sucking on the head like a big plum while she stroked the shaft with both hands.  This got me snorting and snuffing, and rocking back and forth in time with her ministrations.

I was just getting close to that magical, glorious moment of climax when she stopped.  “Not yet, not like that!  I want to enjoy it too.  Let’s do the fun part now.”

I must have looked quizzically at her because she tossed her red curls impatiently.  “You know, do it to me!  We’re all supposed to be virgins, but the priests aren’t really all that picky when it comes down to it.”

She stripped off her sheet and layed it down in a neat square on the dusty concrete floor.  I knew the maidens were all pretty, but I’d never appreciated just how pretty until that moment.  She was petite and curvy and her body was smooth and pale and nearly hairless, except for a neat little red triangle of fluff where her thighs met.  Her breasts were bouncy and perky, her body was sleek and trim.

Her vagina was beautiful.  It was pink and excited, spread open, wet and ready for me.  I pressed the end of my raging cock against her wide-open entrance.

We tried for a while, but it just wasn’t happening; at least not without hurting her, and I wasn’t about to do that.  Still, we both enjoyed the trying quite a bit.  In the end though, it was too frustrating, and I just wasn’t going to fit inside.

We settled for me sliding my dick up and down the length of her vagina while she held her legs up near her ears.  Her slickness lubricated things nicely, and she looked sexy as hell like that, and it felt great!

“Yowsa!” Underneath my bulk she was clearly enjoying herself.  “Wow you’re big!  Oh, gentle, gentle… no, don’t stop.  Don’t you DARE stop!”

I was doing it as carefully and as gently as I could, trying to delay the inevitable as long as possible.  She was so sexy, and it felt so good.  I wished it could last forever.

“I’m going to come… I’m going to come… I’m coming!” she cried out underneath me.  I didn’t know exactly what that meant, but I had a pretty good idea.  I flushed with pride, and with my own impending orgasm, and with a new feeling that I could only have described as ‘tenderness’.

She started screaming, as if she’d been trampled under my hooves, and for a second I was afraid I had hurt her, but it became pretty apparent that this was a different kind of scream.  A good kind.

I gave in at last.  Abandoned gentleness, started rubbing myself against her wet slit hard and fast, surrendering to my own pleasure.  She sure didn’t seem to mind.  The harder I thrust, the more she writhed and moaned and encouraged me.  She wrapped her hands around my cock, pressing me hard against her wet pussy.  When I came, it rolled over me and through me in waves, more intense than it ever had been before, and I bellowed out and squirted the pearly white goo all over her: her stomach, tits, neck, face and pussy were thoroughly covered in my come.

We lay like that for a little while, both of us panting, me supporting my bulk on my elbows so I wouldn’t crush her.

She dipped her finger in, tasted it and licked her lips and giggled.  Hesitantly, I giggled back.

“You’re not going to kill me now, are you?”

“No,” I said, rolling over onto my side and gazing at her benevolently, “No, I wouldn’t do that.  I promise.”

“Ok.” She kissed me sweetly on the nose.  “Gods, but I want a smoke!”

I broke my promise.

That still has me messed up.  That’s the reason I see a shrink once a week and volunteer at a soup kitchen on the weekends and give more than we can afford to City Harvest.  My promise only lasted a few days.  I was hungry.  We were both hungry.  She discovered the trick of raiding the daemon’s private refrigerator, but left-over pizza and stale bologna sandwiches just weren’t cutting it.  We got each other off a lot, which helped take my mind off the hunger inside me, but whenever we weren’t actually fooling around, my stomach just wouldn’t shut up.

I tried to make it painless.  I don’t think she felt anything.  She was taking a nap after our latest bout, and I reached over, kissed her forehead once, and snapped her neck.

Up till then I had always relished the taste of human flesh.  She seemed to stick in my mouth, and I wept as I chewed.  But she was filling.

I have to admit I was kind of a dick after that.  I mean, I’ve always been a monster, but for a while, I was even worse.  I was hurting inside, and I took it out on the maidens.  I’d take pleasure in stalking them, holding back from the kill as long as I could stand while they panicked and ran from my invisible echoing hoof beats.  I gored them and trampled them and let them die slowly.  I was cruel, I was evil, and for that I am sorry.

As time passed by, my anger and my hurt faded.  For a while I became a vegetarian, but that didn’t work out so well.  The hunger gnawed and twisted my stomach; and my maidens just died of starvation and loneliness anyway.  After a century or so I went back to eating them, just like before.  I was the same old me, with the same terrible hunger, but I no longer felt the need to hurt.  And I didn’t rape anymore.  I jerked off all the time instead.  Masturbation was a poor substitute, but at least it didn’t leave me feeling empty and wrong.

One day is pretty much like any other in the Labyrinth.  There was a new maiden down there, somewhere, and I was stalking her.  I could smell her, I could hear her padding footsteps.  It was only a matter of time.

I didn’t bother prolonging it.  When I had finally located her, I just came around a corner, ready to make a meal of it.  She was walking slowly down the hall, carefully unrolling a ball of string.

When she saw me, this maiden stopped what she was doing and looked up.  “Huh!” she said, not dropping her ball of string, “I thought you were only a myth.”

That stopped me.  Partly just the fact that she was speaking to me: that was highly unusual.  No-one had said a word to me in centuries.  They mostly just screamed and ran in fear.  That was the other thing: she didn’t seem afraid of me at all, or disturbed by my monstrous appearance.  She reminded me of someone I had known once, many years before.

She was an unusual looking maiden.  She had a mass of curly dark hair, pale, almost translucent skin, a round face that was inclined to smile, and she was chunkier than most.  (This was not unattractive to me; oh my no, just the opposite!)  She was wearing blue jeans and a black t-shirt under her sheet, which was hardly a sheet at all, more of a cape-thingy.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” She set the ball of string down.

“Huh?  Oh, sure.”

“Why are we supposed to be virgins?” she asked conversationally.  She didn’t seem even slightly afraid of me.  “I mean I’m really not one, if it makes any difference to you.  Those cretin priests sure don’t seem to give a shit, as long as you check the right box on the questionnaire, they don’t ask any questions.  But why would it even matter?”

She was right, that was a poser. “I don’t know” I said, “I don’t think it really makes any difference.  It’s just a tradition, I guess.”

“Huh.  I mean ‘virginity’ is a pretty elastic term, if you think about it.  But however you define virgin, I’m not one.”

“Listen,” I said, “Are you hungry?  I know where we can get a bologna sandwich.”

“Sounds delicious.  What’s your name anyway?”

“I don’t know,” I said, “I’m not even sure I have one.”

“Sure you do.  Everybody’s got a name.  Mine’s Emily.  What’s yours?”

I sat and thought about it for a little while, and then I realized that I was staring at Emily’s breasts, which were quite large and nicely shaped.  She caught me staring and kind of smirked and I think I actually blushed.  She had the prettiest smirk I’d ever seen.  I tried to concentrate.  I’d never had a name before, not that I knew of, so I made one up.

“Ferdinand,” I said at last.  I liked the sound of it.  “My name’s Ferdinand.”

“Well it’s nice to make your acquaintance, Ferdinand.”  She stood up on her tippy-toes and kissed me lightly on the cheek, making the erection that I had been fighting to keep in check swell and bob.  (Her kisses would always have that effect on me.  She always found that charming and quite amusing.)  “So…” There was a mischievous twinkle in her eye, “Weren’t you going to eat me or something?”

I started to protest, and then I realized that she was talking about something else entirely and then I did blush.

Emily pressed her warm curvy little body up against me, and my erection swung straight up, completely out of my control.  She grinned happily.  “Now that is impressive!  And to think I thought you were just a myth!”

I squeezed her tight against me, almost drunk with blissful desire.  “Listen,” I said, “When you said that about wanting me to eat you…?”

Her grin got even bigger.  “Go right ahead!”

She took a step back and proceeded to undress.  The cape-thingy fell in a crumpled heap on the dusty cement floor.  She peeled off her black t-shirt and unsnapped her bra (an invention I was unacquainted with at the time).  Her breasts were beautiful, full and large and round, with big crinkly nipples.  She smiled at me again, unsnapped the fastener on her jeans and wiggled out of them.  Her black bikini panties (again, I had never seen anything of the sort before) were next.  Between her thighs was a lush triangle of soft curly black pubic hair.  She let a finger slip between her legs.  It came back shiny and moist.

“You want me to lick you there?” I hazarded a guess.

“Oh yeah!” Emily said, “If you don’t mind, that is.  Gods and Goddesses, I can’t believe how fucking horny I am!”

“Me too!” I admitted, a little bashfully.

“I can tell,” she said, eyeing my hard-on.  “Don’t be shy.  Come on!”

I took her in my arms and lifted her up so that her legs were resting on my shoulder and she was able to grab a horn in each of her hands.  That put her pussy right in front of my mouth.  It was beautiful, furry and petite and pouting open like a blossom.  She smelled delicious.  Wetness was dripping off her purple nether lips.  It was intoxicating.  I tentatively stuck out my tongue and sampled her fruits.  I felt her shudder in my arms, so I did it again.  The wetness was everywhere now.

“Don’t stop!” she cried, “Zeus, that’s amazing!”

Encouraged by her encouragement, I didn’t stop.  I slurped up and down her pussy, licking all over, curling my tongue and sliding it inside her, dragging it up and down the length of her sex.  Emily rode me like a bronco, gripping my horns tight, grinding herself back at me in a perfect rhythm, meeting my tongue, rubbing that little nubbin near the top until she was actually screaming, a scream I instinctively knew was neither fear nor pain.

“Please don’t stop!” she gasped.  I didn’t stop until she sagged limply in my arms.

“That was fantastic!” Emily gasped.  “You know” she said coyly, “If you were to hold me upside down, I could probably do you at the same time as you lick me some more…”

I turned her over, and holding her gently by the waist, I slowly lowered her open mouth down onto my aching penis.  With a –glurk- she swallowed me whole.

The sensation was so amazing I forgot to lick for a little while.  I hadn’t felt anything like this in centuries!  Her mouth was so hot and wet; her tongue was doing incredible things to me.  I discovered the trick of lifting her up and down while she sucked, which only made the sensations more intense.  Then I remembered that I was supposed to be licking too, and Emily started moaning and gurgling as she sucked my cock.  Her pussy was soaking wet.  It was amazing.

“I’m going to come!” I suddenly bellowed out.

“MMM!! Mmm-hmm!” Emily responded, and I felt myself coming, shooting off, squirting into her hungry mouth.  She swallowed and swallowed until my limp cock slipped out of her mouth with a pop.

“Oh thank you!” I sputtered “Thank you so much!”

“My pleasure” she grinned from upside-down, “Listen, while you’re up there, would you mind…”

“Not at all!” I responded, and resumed my licking.  As I licked, she kissed and fondled my temporarily reduced cock and my dangling balls.  It was quite distracting.  I discovered the trick of applying just the tip of my tongue to her bulging clitoris (I didn’t know the name for it at the time, but I soon learned).  This drove Emily absolutely wild, and kicking her legs and whimpering and moaning for me all over again.

“Put a finger in my asshole!” she begged, and I was happy to oblige.  Somewhat to my surprise, that little crinkly hole accepted my big hairy finger.  It slid easily inside, where it was gripped by her body, hot and tight.  This just drove her wild, and did it nicely for me too.  I licked her pussy and her clit and toyed with her asshole with my finger until she came screaming again.  I still love feeling her orgasm with a finger up her ass.

“Wow!” she said, when I set her gently down again on her disheveled pile of clothes. “That was intense Ferd.  Hey, didn’t you say something about a bologna sandwich before?  I’m so hungry I could just kill!”

Emily got dressed again, which I found nearly as sexy as watching her get undressed.

We raided the daemon’s fridge, chowing down on stale Wonder bread and lunch meat.

She eyed my penis, which had become hard all over again in the meantime.  The hunger was never far away.  “You really are a monster!” she said, and grinned.  That grin never seemed to be far away from her face. “Do you want to fuck?”

I sat down on the daemon’s ratty old couch (which was kind of ridiculous, it was like an undersized lazy-boy to me, and I was lucky it didn’t just collapse under my weight), and watched Emily get undressed again.  I never get tired of watching that.  My cock was straining almost painfully upward.  She kissed the head of it merrily.

“Anal’s going to be tricky… we’ll just have to work up to that.”  She climbed up onto my lap, balancing on my thighs.

Raising herself up onto her knees, she gripped my erection with both hands, rubbing it up and down her drooling pussy.  I sighed and rolled my head back, shutting my eyes and relishing the blissful sensation.  It felt so good what she was doing, and it had been so long since I had been touched like that.  I only hoped it felt just as good for her.

Then I felt her movement change, and I opened my eyes to see what Emily was doing.  She had the end of my dick aimed right at her pussy opening.  Carefully, determinedly, she lowered herself down onto my pole.

“Oh! My! Goodness!!” she gasped out loud through a bit lip, “Damn that feels good!”

It certainly did.  Her pussy enveloped me, grasping me tightly.  She was hot and wet inside.  It felt incredible.  She eased herself down, until the entire length of my penis was inside her.  Her pussy seemed to bulge visibly around my meat.

“Oh… yeah… Gods!” she was moving now, little movements: up and down, back and forth, impaled on my cock.  “I’m going to have to get myself a new dildo!”

She looked beautiful like that, riding my dick.  Her breasts shook and jiggled with every movement, her hair was mussed up and her eyes were glazed and half closed.  She seemed to glow.  I reached behind her and caressed her jiggling buttocks.  She wiggled her behind encouragingly, and I cupped her ass in my hands.  Her round bottom seemed almost tiny in my huge hands.  I spread the cheeks apart and with a fingertip, gently traced the crease in between, ticking her tiny asshole.  She started moving more aggressively up and down on my dick.  Her hands were busy, pulling and twisting her own big pink nipples.  I pressed my fingertip up into her very tight asshole.

Her moans and groans increased substantially in volume, and she started to flush blotchy red pink.  I had never felt anything remotely close to this ever: a beautiful willing eager female impaled hotly, wetly on my cock, enjoying every bit of me.  I felt something swell in my heart, an almost incomprehensible rush of tenderness nearly overwhelmed me.  Meanwhile I wasn’t going to be able to take much more of this.  I was clenching every muscle in my body to keep from shooting off inside her.

“Emily, I want to feel you come on my dick…!” I managed to whisper through clenched teeth.

She opened her eyes and looked at me scorchingly.  “You’re going to in just about three seconds!”  She removed one hand from her swollen nipple and started rubbing vigorously between her legs as she bounced up and down on my cock.  Moments later, her breathing was coming in ragged gasps, and I felt her body tremble and shake, and then I knew she was coming.  Somewhere I could hear her screams of pleasure, but more immediately, I felt her pussy grasping, squeezing, spasming on my cock.  I could take no more.  I thrust myself up into her, fucking her, and with a bellow, I let go.

My come was so intense, it seemed to last a century.  She rode me all the way through it, and when she collapsed on top of me, covering my hairy chest with kisses, I felt like it was me who was glowing.  We stayed that way for a long time, just cuddling and touching and kissing, our parts pressed wetly and stickily together.

Finally, Emily laid her head down on my chest and closed her eyes; her sheet-cape-thingy did double duty as a blanket.  I watched her breathing softly and gently played with her hair.  I could feel the terrible hunger gnawing at my insides again.  I hated myself right then.  I thought about eating rocks, or killing myself, just to get rid of that hunger.

“Why don’t you leave this place?”

I’d thought she was asleep.  Now Emily was propped up on one elbow, looking up at me seriously.

“There’s no way out.  Believe me, I’ve looked.  Over the years I’ve been through every inch of the labyrinth.”

“What about the doors?  Have you ever tried the front door?”

I felt like a total asshole.  The front doors were these massive stone gates, way too heavy for any mortal to budge.  But not necessarily too heavy for a minotaur to push open.

We followed Emily’s string back to the gates; the daemons had been slacking off in recent years.  There were more burned-out fluorescents than there should have been too.  The doors were huge and daunting; if they were barred from the outside, we were both fucked forever.  I put my shoulder against one and pushed.  It shuddered and creaked, and moved very slightly outward.  The things were solid granite, and must have weighed tens of tons.

Turns out I was strong enough, though just barely.  The stone door creaked and complained and finally opened just a crack, wide enough for Emily and me to slip out into the night.  It was night outside, and our faces were lit by the soft light of the crescent moon and a high dome of impossibly bright stars.

I never looked back.

Emily always wanted to try a threesome, but the idea kind of freaked me out: I was always afraid that I’d forget myself and eat the third in the heat of the moment.  So we contented ourselves with lots of kinky sex and porn.  Emily says she’s crazy about me.  I don’t really understand why: I’m a huge, hairy brute; but I love her very much.

We took an apartment in the city, and I got a job with a moving company.  It isn’t the greatest job, but it comes with health insurance and two weeks vacation, and when I threatened to quit (because the other guys had taken to letting me do all the work) they gave me a raise.

I discovered the joys of Costco and of take-out pizza and all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet; I’m developing a bit of a paunch.  I don’t think I’m immortal anymore, since I’m outside; my knees and back have been complaining a lot lately, and I seem to be going grey.  But I don’t mind.  I kind of like the idea of growing old with Emily.


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