The Long and the Short of it

I first noticed it about two weeks after my twenty sixth birthday. Work had been exceptionally crazy lately; I had been sitting in front of a computer screen crunching numbers for twelve hours straight, and my eyes were bloodshot and my brain was sore. Dinner had been Chinese takeout. Again.

I tumbled into bed, leaving behind me a trail of clothes strewn across my bedroom floor. I was bone tired, but before I went to sleep, there was some pressing business that needed taking care of. I hadn’t masturbated all week and despite my exhausted state I had been crawling the walls all day long.

My panties came off, and I let my fingers do the walking. As my finger circled my clitoris, I noticed a lump down there that I didn’t normally encounter.

“Odd” I thought to myself; but I was soon way too distracted to think about it at all. And a little while later, I was sound asleep.

I didn’t think about it again until the next afternoon, at work. I had taken a bathroom break, and that was when I noticed that there was very definitely something going on down there. It was beyond a swelling; it was actually a growth of some sort. And the oddest thing of all was that I peed out of it.

First of all it was scary. My mother had recently had a mastectomy; the “C – word” was in the forefront of my mind. Secondly I was embarrassed; I had this creepy –thing- going on with my vagina. I hadn’t had sex in –well in a rather long time, so I was pretty sure it wasn’t the effect of some weird std. That was a relief anyway.

In the end, I decided to just wait and see. It wasn’t painful. I had a hard time going to a gyn and saying “Doc, you gotta help me! I’ve got what looks like a baby penis growing out of my crotch!” Besides, I was a freelancer: I didn’t have health insurance. Maybe it would just go away on its own.

It didn’t. Go away that is. The next morning (a Sunday; my one day off), it was the size of a penis. A rather small and flaccid penis to be sure, but I have seen my share of penises, and that is definitely what it looked like.

I did what any normal girl would do in my situation (I hope): I gave myself an erection. It felt nice. Weird, but nice. And ultimately frustrating. My clitoris had migrated to the end of, well of my penis; and it didn’t seem to be functioning properly.

Over the next few days, the thing grew at quite an unreasonable rate. By middle of the week, it was fully five inches long (yes, I measured) when erect.

Ah yes, the erections. It started on Monday at work. I would get them without warning. Nothing short of dousing them in cold water (which did work) would make them go away. It caused quite an embarrassing lump in the front of my pants. I became convinced that everyone was staring at my crotch. After the first day of that, I wore skirts for the rest of the project. No mean feat, considering the small number of skirts I had in my closet.

Eventually I got freaked out enough to spend precious money out of pocket and go see my gynecologist. Fat lot of help she was. All she did was take a quick look and say “Oh Yes, we see this sometimes. It usually goes away after a few months. If you’re going to use it, make sure and wrap the rascal.”


And then, on Thursday morning, freshly unemployed (we had wrapped up the project I’d been working on about midnight the night before) and feeling lazy and horny, I made The Great Discovery.

It turned out that with manual stimulation not dissimilar to (as a matter of fact, exactly the same as) a hand job, I was able to achieve orgasm with my new penis. It wasn’t at all the kind of orgasm I was used to; shorter but more intense I guess is how I’d describe it, but an orgasm it was alright. I even ejaculated. Not a ton, but it looked (and tasted. Of course I did. Wouldn’t you?) more or less exactly like semen.

Wow. Now that was something cool.

I guess you can imagine how I spent the rest of the day.

I didn’t have much lined up for the next day. My next gig didn’t start up until Monday. I had planned on doing the laundry, catching up on groceries, cleaning up my wreck of an apartment; all the chores I had been too crazy busy to touch the last couple of weeks. And with my new discovery, I had some serious masturbation planned as well.

That all went to pot though. The next morning in my inbox was an email from Justin, one of the programmers at the firm I had been working at for the last few weeks. He was a beautiful man in his early thirties. Beautiful was the only word I could think of to describe him. He was tall and slender, with fine, almost delicate features, piercing eyes, and a mop of reddish-blonde hair and bushy, ironic sideburns to match. He could have been a model for ‘Hot Geek Boy Monthly’. And he wanted to have dinner with me.

I don’t get asked out a lot. I’ve never been the kind of girl who gets asked out a lot. First of all I’m not skinny. I’m not fat either, not by a long shot, but skinny I aint. And I wear glasses. And I’m a social outcast, the kind of girl who would rather stay home and play Sim City than go out dancing. The kind of girl who would rather play D&D than go to her senior prom. Oh, and did I mention that I’m painfully shy?

I responded “Hell Yes I’d like to go out with you” or words to that effect. Probably something nicer and more demure; I don’t remember. The rest of my day was spent agonizing over the date (if a date it was, maybe he just wanted to go out “as friends”?) and cleaning up the place- “just in case” he happened to come over after dinner.

Oh God. What was I going to wear? What wouldn’t look too slutty, too nerdy, make my ass look too fat, and above all, what wouldn’t show an erection? The random woodies had stopped, but every time I got sexually excited at all, the little guy stood right up at attention. And just re-reading the email from Justin got me sexed up.

The date was lovely. We went to a pan-asian place on the West Side. I don’t remember what we talked about, but Justin was a good conversationalist, good enough to make up for me, and we seemed to get along well. We also drank a bottle of wine between us, and I have notoriously low tolerance.

And, Of Course I invited him back to my place. My penis? To say that I had forgotten all about it would be patently untrue: the damn thing was stiff as a two-by-four and poking out the top of my panties. I guess I just figured that we’d cross that bridge when we got to it.

We made it up into my apartment and from there onto the futon, where the kissing began. Justin was a pretty damn good kisser, I have to say! His hand found my breast (more than a handful’s a waste, right?), and I didn’t object one bit. I was eager to find out just what exactly was causing that delicious looking lump in the front of his pants. My skirt was piled up on my lap, obscuring my own lump. I was quite sure that my panties were totally drenched at this point.

His hand slipped up under my skirt, caressing the soft skin of my thigh, and worked its inexorable way up higher. I shivered in delicious anticipation.

“What the fuck?” He abruptly broke off our kiss. “Ugh, that’s disgusting!” His roaming hand had found my erection rearing out of my panties. He stood up, buttoning his shirt which had somehow come halfway off.

“It’s not what you think” I said dumbly.

“Whatever, Dude” he said heading out the door “That’s the last thing I’m looking for. Thanks for nothing you… Freak!” The door slammed behind him.

I cried for a long time until I finally fell asleep, lonely and frustrated.


After that upsetting incident I fell into a deep blue funk. For a while I was too depressed to masturbate. That lasted about two days. Then it seemed like I did nothing but. It was fun to jerk myself off with a vibrator buzzing away inside my vagina; it was fun to see how often I could make my penis shoot off (my record was four times in one day); it was fun, but in the end it was just masturbation and not particularly fulfilling.

It was in a dark little bar in the Lower East Side, having a drink with my friend Annaleese that I finally blurted it out.

She didn’t believe me at first.

“No, I’m serious.” I said “Hey, it’s not funny.”

“I’m not laughing. So you’re telling me you just grew a-”

“A Dick!” we both burst out laughing. “Ok, so I guess it is a little funny. And it’s definitely interesting. Hey, I get to pee standing up! But it’s ruined my sex life. As if I had a sex life in the first place.” I related the sad story of my date with Justin.

“Aw Sweety” she said “That sucks. What a… dick!” she leaned forward “So do I get to see it?”

“Are you serious?”

“Hell ya I’m serious. Come on, I want a peek!”

“What, here?”

“Come on!” She took me by the hand and led me into the cramped little bathroom in the back. We crowded into one of the two stalls together.

“You really want to see?”

“Of course I do! Are you kidding?”

I unbuttoned my pants and let them fall around my ankles. Feeling suddenly very shy and self conscious, and annoyed with myself for feeling that way, I defiantly pulled my panties down around my knees, letting it all hang out.

“Holy Shit, you weren’t kidding! It looks just like a-”

“Dick!” I finished for her. We both broke out laughing.

“Do you mind if I…?” Analeese didn’t wait for me to answer, reaching out and gently squeezing.

Analeese and I have been friends forever. We went to college together, moved to New York at about the same time. Physically, she is everything I’m not: she is tall, skinny, and her boobs are even smaller than mine. I don’t even know what her natural hair color is; at the moment it was flaming red. I did know that her hand was wrapped around my penis, and that I was starting to feel the first tinglings of an erection.

Now I’ve never considered myself a bisexual. Well, I guess everyone is bi to some extent. I mean I’ve certainly looked, and I’ve even fooled around a couple times. But I’ve always been way more interested in boys and in their parts.

“Oh My God!” Analeese was saying “That is so cool! You know, I’ve had boyfriends with smaller ones.”

Someone else had come into the bathroom. “We should get out of here” I said.

“Yeah” she said “Let’s go over to my apartment.”

I found myself being towed over to Analeese’s apartment, which was about six blocks uptown. “Ted won’t be home until after nine” she was saying. “So we’ve got a couple hours.” She and Ted- another friend of ours from college- were practically married; they’d been together for years. I knew what was going to happen; I was hardly an unwilling participant; but there was a sense of dreamlike unreality about it for me.

We took the elevator up to their apartment. In the elevator, the sexual tension between us seemed to crackle like static electricity. Once inside, Analeese locked the door behind us. “God Damn, I’m horny!” she almost snarled, pulling me close to her and rubbing her jean covered crotch against mine.

Well I have to say I was pretty fucking turned on myself. My dick was making quite the lump in my pants, and I was pretty sure that my panties weren’t especially dry either. Her jean-clad crotch felt really good rubbing up against my erection.

She started tugging my shirt off, and I raised my arms up to help her. We were standing in the middle of her living room. Outside, it was already dark, and it was cold and windy. She had my shirt off, and I could feel her breath on my neck as she fumbled with the clasp of my bra.

“Fuck!” she said “I can’t get that damn thing open. This is embarrassing.”

I reached back and unsnapped it myself, setting the girls free. Analeese took the opportunity to rid herself of her own t-shirt and bra. Her tits looked really nice. They were quite a bit smaller than mine, but very perky, and her nipples were long and pink and quite hard.

She pushed me down onto the hardwood floor and started sucking and nibbling my breasts as she pulled my pants off. With the help of a little squirming on my part, these came off with no undue trouble. That left me clad in just my blue-and-white striped panties, with the head of my dick peeking shyly out the waistband.

She wasted no time pulling my panties off, leaving me naked on the floor as she stood over me, topless in her bluejeans, wild scarlet hair standing up in every direction. My dick was incredibly hard, standing at a rigid 45 degree angle. I felt vulnerable, and yet at the same time sexy and wanted and in a strange way powerful. Analeese looked great: she had the boobs of a sixteen year old and a nice flat tummy that spoke of many many crunches and Pilates classes. The wind outside rattled the window panes. I wanted to fuck her.

I rolled over onto my side and watched as she unzipped her jeans and let them fall in a crumpled heap to the floor. I started slowly stroking my penis, wetting the tips of my fingers with my own slipperiness. She stepped out of her black bikini panties, revealing a pussy that was almost completely shaved, except for a little brown landing strip up her mons.

“I want to lick your pussy Analeese” I heard myself saying “And then I want to fuck you.”

She sat on the edge of the couch, slouching back and letting her legs part wide. I crawled eagerly between her thighs, my penis hanging heavily down.

Now I may not consider myself bisexual, but at this point I was way too turned on to be arguing semantics. At the moment, her pussy seemed like the most delicious fruit in the world. I hadn’t seen a lot of pussies up close and personal (plenty in porn, but that really isn’t the same thing at all); I had only fooled around with another girl twice: once in the front seat of my best friend’s car after a long night of bad Denny’s coffee and half-veiled flirtation; and once sloppy drunk in a dark dorm room my first year of college. Neither instance had given me much of a chance to look at what I was doing.

She was obviously really excited. Her labia were more prominent than mine, they pouted out all purple and swollen and puffy; clearish girl goo was leaking out from between them. I could see here tiny little clit peeking out from behind its hood. Gingerly, I stuck my tongue out. I’m not sure what I expected; I guess I was afraid that I wouldn’t like the taste. I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t anything I’d put on my breakfast cereal, but it wasn’t bad, not bad at all. I parted her inner lips with my tongue. Her clitoris poked out, big and pink and bold. I felt her hands in my hair. Feeling more confident, I licked harder, dragging my tongue across her wide open pussy. She jumped as if shocked when my tongue passed over her clit. “Too sensitive!” she gasped.

She rubbed circles around her clit with her forefinger while I licked. I started to get really into it. I would drag my tongue all the way from the crease where her butt cheeks came together up through her pussy to just below where her finger was busy with her clit. She was getting really wet, which was a huge turn-on for me. I slurped fast and hard, like a thirsty dog at a water dish.

Suddenly I felt her hands pushing me away. Regretfully, I stopped licking. “I need you to fuck me now, Ok?” Analeese said, looking me dead in the eyes “I need to feel your dick inside me.”

I lost my virginity when I was sixteen, in the back of a pickup truck. It wasn’t an incredibly pleasurable experience. The guy was in his 20s and didn’t know that I was a virgin, or that I was underage. I had been on a mission to lose my cherry; I had an unreasonable morbid fear of dying a virgin, so I picked up some cowboy in a club and let him have his way with me. This experience, this loss of virginity, was much more pleasurable.

I actually had trouble getting it in; my hands were shaking, and my coordination seemed to have fallen apart. Analeese was looking at me through glazed, half-closed eyes, her shocking red hair every which way, her breasts flushed. My penis found its target, and slipped inside. Suddenly, I was inside her. “Oh my God!” she gasped. I fell on top of her, burying my dick all the way up into her pussy. My own juices were flowing freely, my breasts were mashed against hers.

It felt so good. It was amazing, I had never felt a sensation like that. I had to stop moving for a second; I was afraid that I would come right away.

“Fuck me baby, fuck me!”

I was afraid to move; I was afraid that if I so much as twitched, I would start squirting all over the inside of her pussy. My pubes were pressed against her little landing strip. I could feel my own juices running down the shaft of my dick. She was hot inside, really hot and slippery.

“I’m not going to be able to last” I gasped “I’m going to come right away ‘Leese!”

“It’s ok” she said “Just fuck me!”

Swallowing hard, I started moving in and out. “Yeah” Analeese said “do it to me Babe, do it harder!”

Her hands were on my ass, pulling me into her. I could feel her pussy pulsating, squeezing my cock. I knew she was coming. She looked incredibly sexy like that. I started fucking her harder and harder, slamming myself into her as hard as I could. This fucking thing was hard work! I could feel myself starting to come. One of her fingers slipped between my asscheeks to tickle my anus. I humped her as hard as I could, feeding my tit to her mouth, which she eagerly sucked. I came with a shout, squirting what felt like a gallon of come into Analeese’s pussy.

Finally, my poor sensitive little penis slipped out of her pussy. Analeese was masturbating again, her eyes closed in concentration. I couldn’t help myself; I got back down on my knees and licked her sopping wet pussy while she worked her clitoris. I could taste myself leaking out of her, bitter and salty. Her finger was like a blur on her clit. My face was covered in our combined juices. Finally she came again, bucking and shaking. I felt like I was glowing.

“That was amazing” Analeese said at last. “I’ve always wanted to do something like that.”

“Yeah” I said, fishing under the couch for my panties “That was incredible. Thank you.”

“You don’t think you could get me pregnant, do you?”

“No, I don’t think so. I mean I don’t have the balls.”

“That’s good” she said “That’d be pretty hard to explain. Do you want to wash up? I need to take a shower. Ted’ll be home in not too long.”

“We probably shouldn’t do this again” Analeese said as she climbed into the shower. She had a really lovely body “Enjoy it. You’ve got it, enjoy it.”


Enjoy it. That was all very easy for Analeese to say. The next day I was sore (especially my ass- I don’t know how guys do it; if I kept getting laid I was going to have buns of steel); guilt ridden (for fucking my practically married best friend); horny; and I got my period. At least it was good to know that that part of me was still female and in good working order.

Life goes on. I did contract jobs; steady work and not too incredibly stressful; I stayed up late drinking wine and playing Sim City; I masturbated a lot: in other words, life was much as it was Before.

I was out for a jog one sunny morning in April (I had become disgusted with my laziness over the winter and decided to get in shape. So far so good.) and, rounding a corner on the jogging path in the park, I fell into step with a cute guy.

He wasn’t cute in any conventional, mainstream media sense; or even the unconventional alterna-porn sense that I was rather fond of. In fact he kind of reminded me of a muppet. He was cute like Grover was cute.

He was as skinny as a piece of string, except for a prominent little beer belly, and he seemed to be all arms and legs. He was in fact comically gangly; his limbs were just too long for his body. His head seemed roughly triangular; his ears stuck out at right angles to his skull; his thick black hair stood almost straight up in a ‘Spaceman Spiff’ do; and he was sweating profusely.

I don’t know why, but he captured my imagination. Instead of pulling away, or dropping back, I stayed parallel to him as he loped along like a clumsy foal on new legs. At the top of a small hill by a playground, he gasped to a stop. I stopped too.

“What’s your name?” he asked me after a minute, still breathing hard.

I told him.

“Mine’s Kevin” he said “Would you like to go out sometime? I mean like have dinner or see a movie or something? Like a date?”

“Sure” I said, stretching my calves and wondering why I was talking to this strange boy who I didn’t know from Adam “Give me your phone number, I’ll call you.”

“I don’t have anything to write with.”

“Just tell me” I said “I’ll remember it. I’m good with numbers.” I am good with numbers. But I wasn’t at all sure that I had any intention of actually calling him.

He gave me the number. It was easy to remember; a Brooklyn prefix and four Fibonacci numbers.

“Don’t forget” he called after me as I jogged off “Give me a call.”

I didn’t forget. But I also didn’t call him. I wasn’t in the habit of going out on dates with total strangers I met up with in the park; particularly strange boys who looked like refugees from The Muppet Show. And then there was the little matter of the thing between my legs, which contrary to what my gynecologist had said had been there a little over two months, and showed no sign of disappearing, or even shrinking. Just the opposite, if anything.

Still, I couldn’t quite let it go. He stayed in the back of my mind all week, the digits of his phone number rattling around my head like empty bottles in a subway car. The sum of the digits in his phone number, taken without area code, added up to a perfect square. The area code itself added up to a perfect square. I was never going to be able to forget that stupid number.

And then, on Friday night, when Analeese and Ted had bailed on me in favor of a show at BAM that I had absolutely no interest in seeing, and I was facing another evening of take-out Chinese and Sim City (my city was now sprawling and polluted and crime-ridden; it was too depressing to even think about), those ten numbers came rolling into the forefront of my consciousness and wouldn’t go away.

And so I called him. What harm could come of it? He seemed like a nice enough guy. It was only a date after all. Anyway, he probably wouldn’t be home. And even if he was home, he probably already had plans.

Kevin answered his phone on the second ring. No, he didn’t have any plans. He would love to go out and have dinner and a couple drinks. He only lived a little ways away. He would meet me at the bar in half an hour.

A Date. I don’t know why it made me so nervous, but all of a sudden I was a wreck. Over what? This goofy string bean of a muppet looking guy? I needed to get a grip. It was a date, nothing more. I wasn’t a teenager anymore, waiting nervously at the edge of the gymnasium floor, hoping fervently both that somebody would and that nobody would ask me to dance with him. We were two grown-ups going out for dinner. No Big Deal, right?

So why wouldn’t my hands stop shaking?

I was fully prepared to hate him, to write the whole thing off as a bad idea, to forget once and for all that annoying sequence of numbers that made up his phone number.

But we had a really good time. We got along really well; we were both nerds, to the core. I felt so relaxed with Kevin that I almost forgot that I was out on a date. Almost. As we talked about number theory and D&D and surviving high school, the question kept rattling around my mind: would I (in theory anyway) sleep with this goofy, awkward, very sweet but still a total geek?

The answer increasingly became a resounding YES. Aside from the fact that I genuinely liked Kevin, that I thought he was funny and smart and I wouldn’t mind at all hanging out with him; aside from all that I was becoming more and more fascinated with his strange, eccentric, long limbed cartoonish body. As the evening past (and beer was consumed) it became less and less strange looking and more and more endearing. Fascinating even. And, pervert that I am, I couldn’t help looking at his ridiculously long, outsized limbs and wonder what he had going on between his legs.

By the end of the evening we were talking and laughing like old friends. I felt really comfortable with him, which is unusual for me around guys. Especially for me around guys that I am attracted to. We left the bar together, and walked side by side for a few blocks, until we reached the point where our ways home diverged.

“Well” Kevin said “I guess this is goodnight.”

“Yeah” I said “I had a really good time though.”

“We should hang out again.”

“Yeah. Definitely.”

“So I guess this is goodnight.”


And that is how we ended up necking in somebody’s doorway for probably three quarters of an hour, making out like two dorky teenagers. He was a really good kisser, I had to give him that. A quick learner; he quickly figured out the things I liked (soft kisses, little nibbles and harder bites) and the things I didn’t (having a tongue jammed down my throat); and the lump in his pants pressed against my thigh felt nice. Really, really nice. There was a corresponding lump in my own blue jeans, but I wasn’t pressing it against anything. I didn’t want to scare this one away.

We finally broke off our embrace and went our separate ways to our separate beds. I suppose I did the guy thing: as soon as I got home I jerked off. I missed my clitoris sometimes. I mean the dick was fun, and I had definitely built up some new muscles playing with it, but it just wasn’t the same. Not the same thing at all.

I thoroughly intended to at least wait a few days before calling him. I almost made it through the entire next morning. I minced around the apartment all morning, resisting the temptation to call. Finally, at about eleven, I succumbed. I was just not going to be able to get anything done until I called him. Hell, he probably wouldn’t even be home.

Just as I was walking across the room to pick up the phone and dial his number, the phone rang. It was Kevin. He apologized for calling so soon after our date, but he was bored, and wondered if I felt like hanging out.

It was sunny out, but not very warm. There was a definite chill in the air. We went to the park together. I don’t know why I picked out the park; it was just the first thing that came to my mind. We strolled around together, holding hands, just enjoying each others company more than actually conversing. We wandered up into a more remote part of the park. The place was pretty much deserted. Naturally, we ended up on a park bench together, snuggling up against the still-chilly spring air, and kissing.

He really was a good kisser. It felt really nice to be snuggled up against him too. He seemed a little shy, a little hesitant. Endearing, but frustrating. I took his hand and placed it on my breast. It felt good there. He gave me a little squeeze, which felt nice. He didn’t remove his hand. Progress.

I, however, needed no such encouragement. I was really turned on from all the kissing. I was feeling horny and daring. No one seemed to be around. The lump in the front of Kevin’s jeans was just too enticing.

He gave me a surprised look as I fumbled open the buttons of his fly, but he made no move to stop me. I fished his hard penis out from inside his polka-dotted boxers. It was a nice one too. I’m no size queen, not by a long shot, but I guess I had sort of expected his cock to reflect his build: long and skinny. In fact it was just the opposite; not incredibly long, but exceptionally thick. Thicker around than my thumb and forefinger could enclose. And I don’t have especially small hands.

It tasted nice too; clean and sexy, like a man fresh out of the shower. It felt really good in my mouth. How long had it been since I had given a blowjob? Way too long! I went to work on it with gusto.

Giving head has always been a huge turn on for me. I found the danger of doing it outside, in the public park, extra exciting. I could feel my juices flowing, and my dick was straining against the zipper of my jeans. I found that by squeezing my thighs together, mashing my labia, I could get very close to orgasm. I wasn’t the only one.

“Oh my god, you’re going to make me come!”

Well, ya that was sort of the point. I lifted my mouth up off of his cock long enough to say “Go ahead, don’t hold back” Then I went right back to work. I was enjoying this immensely.

It didn’t take much longer. He was humping back against my mouth, moaning and groaning and squirming around. I love it when a guy gets really excited. It is such a turn on. Then his body went rigid, he gasped, and then he flooded my mouth with what seemed like buckets of come. I didn’t waste a drop.

He kissed me long and hard. I loved that he wasn’t afraid of his own come.

“That was amazing” he said “Thank you!”

“Hey” I said “It was my pleasure!” It had been.

Two old ladies dressed in black strolled by, deep in conversation with each other. Kevin and I got the giggles; his fly was still open and his penis was still wet. If they had come by two minutes earlier, it would have been embarrassing. I don’t think that either of us would have noticed them until they were in front of us. If then.

“So” he said once they were out of earshot “Would you like me to do the same for you?”

Would I? Oh God! What I really wanted was to drag this goofy, sexy, weird muppet-boy back to my apartment and fuck his brains out all day.

“No” I said regretfully “I can’t… this is a bad time. Girl stuff.” Lame excuse.

So we walked around the park and kissed a bunch more, and had lunch and said our goodbyes. I was incredibly sexually frustrated at that point; I had been walking around all day with an erection jammed in my jeans and my pussy wouldn’t stop salivating. If I’d had balls, I’m quite sure they would have been blue.

When I got home, I couldn’t even wait to get all the way undressed. My jeans ended up in a heap on the hallway floor, my panties got hooked around one ankle. I grabbed my vibrator from the top drawer where it lived, turned the buzzer on, and jammed!

I was so wet that joy juice was literally running down my thighs. I didn’t even touch my dick; just pistoning that buzzing toy in and out of my extremely slippery vagina was enough to set me off. I came like a dam bursting, squirting white sticky stuff all over my sheets. Oh well, it was time to do laundry anyway.

When I was done coming, I was a little surprised to find that I was still horny. And still hard. This had never happened to me before; at least not since I had grown my appendage. I kept going, still leaking white stuff out of the end of my (rock hard) penis.

I had to work a bit for the second orgasm, but it was well worth it! With my hand wrapped around my penis and my vibrator buzzing away inside me, I was able to come again. This orgasm was even more intense than the first, though I only produced a little more semen.

Exhausted, arm cramped up and pussy sore, I collapsed, half-naked onto my bed. And stayed that way for a long time.

When I got up, I dialed Analeese’s number right away. I told her everything.

“You’ve got to tell him Girl” Analeese said “If you want to hold onto him. If he’s worth holding onto, he won’t mind. Just break it to him gently, that’s all.”

Easy for you to say, ‘Leese.


It was two days later, in a dark theatre, that I finally decided that I had to say something. I wasn’t into the movie at all (It was some light romantic comedy- a chick flick. Give me boobs and explosions any day.) I was distracted, to say the least, both by what was going on between my legs, and what Kevin had going on between his.

I couldn’t help myself: I kept reaching over and playing with Kevin’s dick through his jeans. He sure didn’t seem to mind, but it was driving me crazy. I really wanted to have that nice thick boy toy inside me. It had been a long time now since I had been fucked (as opposed to being the fucker); and I was starting to bug out. Plus, I had a bad case of the hots for goofy, sweet Kevin. He grew on me.

If I was going to get laid, if I was going to continue hanging out with Kevin, I was just going to have to say something to him. That’s all there was to it.

We left the theatre holding hands. Kevin seemed nervous. Finally, at the corner that marked the demarcation between his way home and mine, he spat it out.

“Would you like to come over to my apartment and hang out for a while?”

“Sure” I said and gave him a quick kiss “That sounds great.”

We didn’t talk much as we walked the five or six blocks over to his place. I don’t know about Kevin, but I was a nervous wreck.

His apartment was a fifth floor walk-up. He got me a beer, and opened one for himself. We sat side by side on the couch like, well, like a pair of horny geeks out on a date, both too nervous to make the first move.

He went first, putting his arm around me and kissing me, just the way I had taught him that I liked it. It felt really good. I wanted him.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, pulling away “I hope I didn’t… we don’t have to…”

“It’s not that” I said, holding his hand in mine. “I want to. It’s just that… before we do more… stuff- which I really want to do- there’s something I need to tell you.”

“What is it?” he asked, not letting go of my hand “Are you sick? Is it HIV?”

“No. No, nothing like that.” I sighed “It’s nothing bad. It’s really not a big deal. I just didn’t want to take you by surprise.” I paused “So when you get into my pants, don’t be shocked. I’m not one hundred percent… well I’m not like other girls down there.”

“Oh.” he said “Ok. There’s something I need to tell you too.”

Oh Dear. “What’s up?” He was blushing. It was sweet.

“Well it’s just that I’m kind of a virgin.”

“Kind of a virgin?”

“A virgin. I mean, I’ve fooled around with girls a couple of times before, but I’ve never…”

“Are you serious? I mean you’re what, twenty five?”

“Twenty four” he interrupted.

“Twenty four” I went on “and you’re sweet and cute as hell…”

“Yeah well” he said “I’ve just never had the opportunity. I hope you don’t mind, I’m just a little inexperienced.”

“Hey” I said “You have to start somewhere. Why don’t we move into your bedroom?”

Kevin led the way into his bedroom. He sat on the edge of his bed. I straddled his lap, and we kissed for a while. I kept getting hotter and hotter. A thought occurred to me.

“Hey Kev, do you have any condoms in here?”

“Yeah” he said “There’s a package in the drawer of the nightstand. I thought…”

“You thought right.” I told him, kissing him again “I think I need to get naked now.”

I stood up and peeled off my shirt, then my bra.

“They’re lovely!” Kevin said. He pulled me to him and started kissing and sucking on my breasts. It felt really good, made me even more horny than I was already. But I wanted to get everything out in the open, as it were.

I stepped back and unbuttoned my jean, letting them fall. By some miracle, my dick wasn’t actually poking out the waistband of my panties; it was just making a huge lump in the front of the thin material. Hooking my thumbs under the elastic, I slid my underwear down. My cock sprang out like a jack-in-the-box.

“You’re so beautiful” he said. I was kind of surprised. I placed one foot on the side of the bed, moving my cock to one side with my hand and parting my labia for him. I wanted to show him my pussy, and show him how hot and wet I was for him.

“This is kind of a new development” I said “I haven’t always…”

“More parts to play with” he said with a wicked grin. And with no further ado, he lowered his mouth onto my dick.

Now, I’ve always loved giving blowjobs; ever since I became sexually aware, that has been one of my favorite things to do. It is really fun, it gives me a huge sense of power, and it is a great sensual turn on for me. Suddenly, I was having the very new experience of being on the receiving end (which was totally different from getting cunnilingus, let me tell you). I liked it. I liked it so much that my knees threatened to buckle. I tumbled onto the bed, my wet dick flopping comically around.

“I need you to be naked!” I gasped.

“Can you come?” Kevin asked as he pulled his clothes off “Like a boy?”

“Keep that up and you’re going to find out!” I said. He looked really hot naked; all skinny and long limbed, with that nice fat cock between his legs. Like some kind of sexy cartoon creature.

“That’s what I was hoping!” he said, and got right back to work. I don’t know where he learned to suck dick (I asked him about it later, and all I got was a deep red blush), but his mouth was driving me insane. He looked incredibly sexy like that, all naked and excited with his mouth wrapped around my dick. A girl could get used to that view.

Then he slipped a finger, and then two, up my pussy. The rhythmic motion of his long digits inside me coupled with what his tongue was doing to me was too much for me to take.

“Oh my god I’m going to come! Oh, please don’t stop Kevin, please don’t stop! Oh, I’m coming!” It was so intense I think I blacked out for a second. Kevin stayed with me, taking it all into his mouth. My body shook, my pussy spasmed on his finger. I think it was the best orgasm I had ever had. When it was done, and my dick was too sensitive to be touched, he released me, sliding up my body and licking his gooey fingers seductively. He gave me a big, warm, salty kiss.

My dick was still fully erect, and my pussy was more than ready for more action.

“I think” I said “That you need to put on a condom. Right now.”

We had a little trouble getting the condom on; it was tricky and both of us were horny and neither of us had much practice. We got it in the end though.

I was so wet and excited that he slipped right in, thick as he was. Oh My God it felt good to have a real actual living penis filling up my vagina! Once he was all the way inside, Kevin froze like a rabbit in the headlights. I knew exactly how he felt.

“Don’t worry about it” I told him “Just fuck me.”


Our relationship then entered into that delicious phase where we dropped all pretension of doing anything other than having sex.

Kevin loved to fuck me and to suck me, and was possessed of a kinky imagination, boundless energy, and a healthy sense of humor. I was having the best sex I’d ever had in my life. I was positively glowing; people at work commented on it.

Sometimes Kevin would fuck me from behind, one finger buried in my asshole and one strong hand pumping my cock as his dick moved deliciously in and out of my pussy. Man, that was intense! I think that was my favorite, though I loved it every way we did it.

We were at his apartment one night, having polished off a pizza and half a six pack of beer (we were such romantics) in preparation for the evenings’ main event. We were getting all snuggly and lovey on his couch; this was the cue for us to remove to his bed. Or not. Either way, clothes were about to go flying.

“I was wondering” Kevin said “If you would be interested in fucking me tonight.”

Wow. Now what had happened to the blushing shy virgin I had hooked up with only a few weeks before? I must have been corrupting the lad.

“You mean fuck you like Me doing it to You?”

“Well, yeah. That was sort of what I had in mind.”

Oh my. That naughty boy had hit on the one nasty fantasy that had been plaguing me since we had gotten together, the one that I had (for reasons I didn’t completely understand, some sort of latent primness I suppose) never shared with him.

“Does that sound erotic to you? Do you think you’d enjoy it?” Well it certainly got my juices flowing!

“Oh yeah!”

Well now. The odd thing was that when it came right down to it, I was worried about hurting him. Funny really, because it was me who had introduced Kevin to the pleasures of anal sex; his cock was bigger (and undeniably thicker) than mine and my asshole was presumably smaller and I had experienced no discomfort (quite the opposite just as a matter of record). And yet I was worried that it would hurt him. That he wouldn’t find it pleasurable.

Oh no, he assured me. He really wanted to. Unless I wasn’t into it? Unless I thought it was too weird?

Too weird? Oh goodness no! My erection felt like the state of Florida. Just thinking about it made me hot.

Truth be told, this had been an offhand fantasy of mine for years, since long before I had grown the appendage that made the act anatomically possible. God, I remembered being a teenage girl, jilling off on top of the sheets one hot and sweaty August evening when I thought I was the only girl in the world who masturbated and feeling both guilty and unrepentantly thrilled with my discovery; when I had first come up with the fantasy which had gone on to become a staple for years: sliding an imaginary cock up the tight little asshole of that cute boy who sometimes sat next to me in precalculus (the one who I never actually worked up the nerve to talk to), him groaning and wiggling his backside, meeting my thrusts, him hard as a rock, squirting off copiously in my hand; me collapsing on top of him in a wet and sticky wave of pleasure.

Not into it? Ah, contraire my friend!

I pretty much tackled him at that point. I smothered him in kisses, kicking aside the empty pizza box, swarming over him, pulling his clothes off in a full frontal attack that swept right past his defenses (as if!) like my Panzers past his Maginot Line. I don’t think he knew what had hit him.

I had him naked and on all fours on his living room floor. My own clothes needed to come off; I almost tripped up and fell on my ass in my haste to get naked.

I kissed him and touched him all over before my mouth landed on his penis, hanging down hard as hard and leaking sweet clear fluid. As I sucked, I let my finger explore up behind his balls, up between his cheeks into unexplored territory I had previously avoided out of some sort of misguided and neurotic fear of him thinking me a pervert.

I soon left his dick, hot and hard and wet from my attentions, and replaced my exploring fingers with my tongue. He had such a cute little butt. It was one of my favorite parts of him, all tight and muscular. He shivered as I traced my tongue from the sensitive skin behind his scrotum up into the uncharted flesh of his ass.

I flicked his anus with the tip of my tongue. He moaned something, too soft for me to make it out. The eroticism of the act was incredibly intense; I was explosively hard and wet as the ocean. I reached up under his chest and pinched his little nipples, licking more aggressively at his puckered little asshole.

I penetrated him with the tip of my tongue. It was musky and male back there, not bad tasting at all. He tasted clean, sexy. I loved eating out his asshole. It made me incredibly hot.

Apparently he thought so too. “Oh Yeah, that’s so good, so fucking good…”

Yeah. It was so fucking good. But I couldn’t stand to wait much longer. The swollen log between my legs demanded attention.

“Don’t you dare move!” I told him.

I literally ran into his bedroom, coming back with the little bottle of lube we kept next to the condoms.

I really liked penetrating him; I petted his dick as I finger fucked him with first one, then two and finally three slippery fingers. He was tight, but seemed to open right up and swallow my invading fingers. His eyes were closed, he was biting his lower lip in concentration. I think he was enjoying it.

“I can’t wait any longer Kevin” I told him “I really need to fuck you soon.”

“Oh please” he breathed “I want you so bad. Just… be gentle when you start, ok?”

Of course I’d be gentle. I poured a liberal amount of the slippery stuff on my engorged penis. It was cold, it made me shiver.

I guided the end of my penis between his spread, inviting cheeks. He wiggled his butt invitingly, arching his back like a cat. I had a hard time believing that that sweet little hole would open up to accept me. All evidence to the contrary, I didn’t believe it would fit. I’d hurt him, I’d split him open.

I rubbed the end of my cock against his asshole. It felt really good. I wanted him with every ounce of my being. I pressed forward a little. It didn’t go in.

“God you’re tight!” I half moaned.

“Do it, do it to me” he responded. I pressed toward him a little more, trying to be gentle, still afraid of causing him pain. It still didn’t go in.

The he pressed back against me, hard and steady pressure. I saw his rosebud open up and swallow me. I watched as his body swallowed my cock, burying inch after inch until almost the whole thing was inside him. He was tight. The muscles of his ass squeezed me tight. He was hot inside. My pussy was flowing like a river; I could feel my juices running down my thighs.

“Don’t move” he told me “don’t move for a second. Just let me get used to it.”

We stayed that way for a little while, locked together, just breathing.

“Ok” he said “I think you can fuck me now. Just start slowly.”

I started very slowly, tenderly fucking his little asshole. “More lube” he told me. I applied more chilly lubrication. “Harder” he told me.

I fucked him harder. And harder. And faster, and deeper. I was so turned on, and I was rapidly approaching the point of no return. I reached under him, wrapping my hand around his thick, swollen cock. “Oh Kevin, I’m going to come!”

“Me too. Don’t stop.” We kissed, fiercely, roughly, for a moment as we fucked. Then I put everything I had into fucking his ass and jerking him off.

It didn’t take long. He cried out loud and I felt his cock twitch and he squirted all over his chest and tummy. I felt his orgasm from inside and it set me off, filling him with my own come. I came and came. When it was all over, I collapsed on top of him, a sweaty, sticky heap. We kissed and cuddled for a long time. Then we showered together.

It was a long night, and when I showed up to work the next day I had dark circles under my eyes and a big goofy grin on my face that wouldn’t go away.


I asked Kevin once, why did he give me his number in the park that first day? “Because” he told me “I had a feeling that if I didn’t, I’d regret it for the rest of my life.”

It turned out that my gynecologist was right. About a month before my twenty seventh birthday, we noticed that my penis was shrinking. Over the next few weeks, it simply disappeared, with no clue left to show that anything had ever been different down there. I was happy to have my fully-functional little clitoris back (and the girly orgasms that went with it); and Kevin turned out to be an even better pussy eater than he was a cock sucker. And it made it much easier for me to buy underwear, and to dress for work, without having a trouser snake hanging around down there to worry about.

I took on a salaried position at a start-up consulting firm; Kevin was training for the New York City Marathon. The bastard took just one stride for my every two, and his cute little beer belly was no more. We were shopping for co-op apartments. Did this mean that we were all grown up?

Sometimes I kind of miss having a penis, but our strap-on dildo and harness (if not quite the same as the real thing) certainly does the trick when we’re in that kind of mood. And the sex, the sex is still amazing!



  1. Elsie Fan(ny) said

    I love this story. Funny, sexy, and very creative. You are a goddess!

  2. Mark said

    I thought this story was absolutely fantastic. It has a little something for everyone, in my case everything I could ever hope for. Keep up the great work; I look forward to reading more.

  3. Conor said

    Great story, nice mix of humour and sticky sex. Loved the girl asslicking, and fucking, the guy. And as a guy who has sucked cock before, in an earlier, experimental phase haha, that was a nice element. Keep up the kinkiness!

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